• 1
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
  • 6
  • 7
  • 8
  • 9
  • 10
Criticism Response Analysis Tool

Why are criticism and feedback so hard to take?

It doesn’t matter if you’re in the corporate environment or at home with your nearest and dearest, hearing negative feedback about yourself seems to hit hard, and can shatter the way you thought things worked in an instant.

The reason criticism hits us so hard is that it often impacts us on the level of the ego emotions: doubt, shame & embarrassment, vulnerability, fear, guilt and anger, as well as on the physiological level through shock.

The Ego Emotions

So as we’re sitting there hearing the negative feedback, we begin to doubt – our abilities, ourselves as people, our likability, our sense belonging.

We feel shame and want to cringe in embarrassment when someone mentions a fault we thought was hidden or, even worse, we didn’t know we had.

We feel vulnerable and exposed, as if the person was attacking us directly, and that makes us scared – for our lives, our jobs, our sense security.

We feel guilty because we could have done more or we know we haven’t been performing at our best. Perhaps we project that guilt onto our bosses and coworkers – assigning blame to them instead of facing the consequences of accepting responsibility ourselves.

Finally there is probably anger – anger at the self for not being good enough, anger at other parties for not offering enough support, guidance, time, care, understanding.

It’s all about ME!

The last thing that engaging the ego does is that it makes it personal – this is not designed to help the person, it’s obviously an attack designed to break them down.

So, even though from a management point of view you’re just being efficient and maintaining distance, the person will perceive it as an attack because their ego is engaged.

The thing about your body perceiving it as an attack though – well your body is going to respond as if it’s being attacked.

…and a Physiological Emotion

The physiological emotion that comes into play? Shock.

You know how when you’re watching a scary movie and you catch yourself jumping at something that happened on the screen – perhaps even screaming out loud? Well your body and mind are not necessarily designed to know the difference between what you imagine or watch and what you actually experience.

As far as your mind is concerned, if your eyes saw it and your ears heard it then it must be real – seeing is believing after all.

So basically what you’re experiencing is a fight or flight or panic response when you watch a scary movie. You feel scared because your mind thinks you’re going through this to a degree and your system is genuinely scared.

The thing about a physiological emotion is that you have no control over it: it floods through your body causing all manner of physical reactions that you can’t seem to stop: your hands get warm and clammy, your throat closes up, everything gets louder, brighter and colder, you may experience cold and hot flushes; you definitely experience that gut churning surge that starts in your tummy.

Sure it gives you great eyesight and hearing and the ability to take nice big breaths so that you can run fast – but it also activates your terrestrial or primitive brain, when you actually need your forebrain activated in order to be able to think and communicate coherently.

Two Levels of Fear

What you must understand here is that you’re now battling fear on two levels: the terrestrial, instinctual or physical level with the chemical reaction of the stress hormones and you’ve engaged the fear of the ego, which is an attack on the emotional, mental and spiritual planes.

Tackling the physical response is actually a lot simpler than what you’d think. If the person is already having a shock experience and you want to stop the flow of hormones in their body, then this physical shock release process will give enormous and immediate relief in most cases. It’s also a great exercise to do regularly and vigorously if you’re prone to carrying your weight around your gut.

A second approach would be to employ a calming technique before you go into the meeting, such as the Quick Coherence Technique from HeartMath, available as a free download on the Life Coaches Toolbox website, or even the BodyTalk Cortices Tapping Technique, which can be taught easily in under a minute.

These techniques will settle your energy and improve your focus, and if undertaken together by all the participants in the forum, will actively encourage coherence and entrainment, which will automatically result in better communication and flow of dialogue, as well as an increased sense of positivity.

Read more about coherence and entrainment at HeartMath

The Second Level of Fear

The ego level of fear can stem from a number of places and events, from what we learned and experienced growing up to our own sense or lack of self worth to errant belief systems, generational patterns and even active memories.

When we’re younger, often the only time we get feedback and criticism is under a negative experience, a pattern that continues into adulthood and the workplace. One way to tackle this therefore is through your communication and delivery style.

In NeuroLinguistic Programming one of the presuppositions, a core belief you work from, is that the meaning of your communication is the response you get.

The essence of what’s important to understand here is that it’s not necessarily about your delivery being wrong, it’s that it’s wrong for the person’s level of understanding.

Luckily, the effects of using any of the tools listed above will make communication and dialogue flow more easily because your systems are aligned and working together coherently.

This combined with basic adjustments to your physical communication delivery style and vocabulary will make feedback sessions and meetings flow much more smoothly.


Read this on Woman Online

Read this on News24

Current Workshops in Johannesburg

  • Weight Loss
  • Retrenchment
  • Own Business
  • Stress
  • Lap Dancing

Weight Loss Mindset Bootcamp

Throw out all the rules and lose weight permanently – the natural way.

  • Does it feel like you’ve tried everything to lose weight?
  • Are you feeling frustrated that you can’t seem to make progress with weight loss?
  • Do you need a whole new way of thinking when it comes to achieving your weight loss goals?

Join us for this one-day intensive weight loss mindset bootcamp and change the way you approach weight loss forever!

We’re going to simplify the way you approach diet and exercise, and clear the mental and emotional blocks that lie in the way of you looking and feeling like a million dollars!

Read More

You're facing Retrenchment. Now what?

If you’ve been retrenched or are facing retrenchment, then this workshop will help you sort out your mind, get past the shock, understand what to expect and figure out what to do next.

Retrenchment is a difficult thing to go through, and even if you went for voluntary retrenchment, you can still land up feeling useless and like a failure, slipping into self-pity and sliding into depression. The monotony and boredom of having nothing to do can exacerbate and accelerate that process, making this a very slippery slope to navigate.

If you are facing retrenchment, or have been retrenched, then it’s time to reboot your mindset and gear you up for the task ahead.

Read More

Entrepreneur Bootcamp

If you are ready to start your business, but aren’t sure where to start, then this is perfect for you!

Whether you’ve been retrenched and forced into this position, or are ready to break out and make an indelible mark on the world, this one-day intensive will give you all the basics you need to get on your feet, and warn you of the pitfalls to watch out for.

From figuring out what your services are, to registering your company and how to source business, we’ll help you understand what working alone from home is like, how the stress will impact you, and we’ll give you tools to deal with and manage that stress when and where it happens, whether you’re alone in your office or in a make-or-break meeting.

Read More

Life Hacks for Managing Stress

In this workshop we’re going to teach you a range of these tools to help you manage stress on a daily basis, as well as in stressful, shocking or traumatic situations.

Each of the tools takes only 30 seconds to 3 minutes to run, is easy to remember, and many can be done in front of people without them even realizing you’re doing it.

Whether your issues are aggression, being too passive, lack of forgiveness, health related, people-related, you can apply any of these tools and find immediate relief. It really doesn’t matter what area the issue lies in, or how intense the experience is.

Read More

Join us for a one-day intensive lap dancing training workshop for beginners and get a take-home video training series.

Very little says ‘I love you’ as much as doing something super-sexy and special for your man’s ‘personal’ enjoyment. Next to the obvious of course, lap dancing is up there in the top 5 activities that will have your man grinning like an idiot!

But you also want to feel sexy, and you often don't know how to do this in a way that makes you look and feel sexy - and that's what we're going to show you how to do.

Join us for a one-day intensive workshop and learn all the basics you’ll ever need to give an amazing private lap dance!

We’ve broken it all down into simple steps that will help you tackle all the important issues, like what to wear, how to hide your fat so that you feel comfortable and what your man really sees. We’re even going to teach you advanced-looking moves that are easy to do – and will leave your man’s jaw gaping.

We've also thought about this from a girl's point of view, and are going to show you how to dance without showing ANY of the bits that make you embarrassed or uncomfortable. It's as important that you feel sexy as what your man sees... or thinks he sees :)

You will also receive a 27-episode strip tease training video series that you can watch at home.

Read More


  • 1

What is NeuroLinguistic Programming or NLP?

  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
  • 6
  • 7
  • 8
  • 9
  • 10
  • 11
  • 12
  • 13
  • 14
  • 15
  • 16
  • 17
  • 18
  • 19
  • 20
  • 21
  • 22

Make a Donation

Make a Donation! Help us to keep providing free tools and resources to thousands of souls who need help but can't afford it because they are in a Dark Night of the Soul period.


All The Other Aggregated Free Tools - Login to View More Free Tools

  • Default
  • Title
  • Date
  • Random
load more hold SHIFT key to load all load all