If you know how to do it right, and you get a little practice, then dirty talk is truly the only toy you’ll ever need for great sex.
There’s quite a gap between people who become coaches and people who go to coaches. Most often, those of us that become coaches are the kinds of people that you’ll accuse of overthinking things, because we do. We think about everything from every possible angle, and then we simplify it for you, the people who come to coaches.
For someone like me, who’s chosen obscure and difficult areas of focus, sex, BDSM and spirituality, the need to simplify concepts and present them in a palatable manner is crucial. When it finally dawned on me that dirty talk is the common denominator for everything sexual, I’ll admit I was actually surprised, but pleasantly so – because dirty talk is easy to learn and easy to teach.
Dirty Talk 101
It doesn’t matter which outfits you wear or toys you buy, your enjoyment of them will always lie in the execution of use.
The execution entirely boils down to your attitude. Your attitude is expressed in the words you use and your body language. And that’s why your greatest tool is not imagination or lack of inhibition: dirty talk is something anyone can use if they master the delivery of it.
You can be uninhibited but not have great delivery and execution. Often we’re uninhibited because we’re overeager about something, which is exactly when we won’t be focused on our delivery and execution. Likewise, you can have a great imagination and be completely unable to let any of it leave your mind, which doesn’t help you either.
With dirty talk though, you don’t need imagination because there’s tons of literature online, not to mention adult movies and erotic literature, and all of that can be used for inspiration. You can circumvent imagination completely by just memorizing the lines you like.
It’s the same with inhibition. You can be inhibited internally but still pull off the delivery and execution of dirty talk – just think of it as acting. And isn’t acting basically what we’re doing in any sexual role play situation?
The other really great thing about dirty talk as your go-to tool is that it’s flexible in its application.
If you’re more conservative, then you can simply choose to use words and phrases that appeal more to your sensibilities, like: I can’t wait to feel your body pressed against mine or I can’t wait to taste you tonight. The more comfortable you get, the further you can push your boundaries.
Likewise other role play situations: as long as you have the terminology and phrasing right, and you’ve practiced it so that you can deliver it smoothly, then you just adjust your vocabulary depending on the role play situation you find yourself in.
How to Talk Dirty
If you’ve never done dirty talk before, it seems like it’s something you’ll never quite be able to wrap your tongue around ;) That’s very far from true though.
The art of dirty talk is practice, practice, practice!
Start by identifying a few phrases you’ve heard, or go search online. You can also visit Life Coaches Toolbox’s dirty talk page: http://bit.ly/lctdirtytalk
Keep a list of phrases somewhere, like a little piece of paper, and start acclimatizing yourself by just looking at and reading them at first. Then slowly start repeating them in your head.
Once you feel more comfortable thinking the phrases (and thinking about the situations that would go with them I’m sure lol), then start saying the words out loud when you are alone, say in the loo or car. You do want to make sue you’re alone because people tend to mock and tease, which can set you back if it happens.
Once you can smoothly say the words and put it out there, then it’s time to start putting it into practice with your partner. Start small with single words being introduced, and building up as you become more comfortable. You might be surprised at how quickly that happens.
Dirty texts are not only a good way for you to break the ice with your partner when you’re introducing dirty talk; they’re also the ultimate foreplay.
In order to overcome your discomfort in the beginning, try incorporating the dirty talk into text messages. Once you feel more comfortable, you can go to the spoken word.
The upside of text messages though is that they are one of the best forms of ongoing foreplay you can imagine, especially for women. Think about it: when you use dirty text messages, then for the whole day at work we get spoken to, told how wonderful we are and how much we’re desired, and that’s bundled up in non-stop attention.
There’s very few women I know who wouldn’t fall all over themselves to be getting non-stop attention from their men. And when you’re that turned on and having sex regularly, you’re not worried about the other stuff, like your boep or belly or cellulite.
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