Forgiving Yourself for Breaking God’s Commandments
Twin Flames Break Up Update 1 of 2
I live a deeply spiritual life, and if you’ve even had the briefest of interactions with me, you’ll know that. I’ll irritate you with how obsessive I am - even if you are deeply spiritual by your own standards. LOL :)
For me, walking my talk is paramount, and I am VERY self disciplined in what I do. I’m not afraid to tighten my belt, limit myself and stick within very specific boundaries on certain things. Especially in matters spiritual.
When I first found out that my Twit Flame of four years had been married all the time we’d been involved, I was shocked at a personal level.
I have all this background with infidelity… ranging all the way back to my very narcissistic father who was a serial cheater.
So at first, the knowledge that I’d been made a mistress hit me on that level.
I felt the shame and humiliation and anger and resistance and vulnerability of the experience. Out of character for me, I didn’t cycle this up to a higher recursion. Probably because I was guilty of personalizing it too much.
So in the past 24 hours when this realization hit me, well, it hit like a ton of bricks to be honest.
I live and love by all of Gods commandments, from many of the religions actually LOL.
The ten commandments as a general set of rules to live life by though, actually make pretty good sense.
Honor God, don’t murder, be honest, don’t commit adultery, don’t steal, don’t lie, don’t be envious and jealous, or covetous.
Adultery, because of my own stuff, has always been a sticking point for me. So that’s a no brainer. That commandment was broken. I could see that.
I’d dealt with that recursively in my own stuff.
The one I totally missed was coveting.
And believe me I’ve cycled down through a lot of layers with this LOL - wasn’t sure there could be any left. And getting frustrated that there must be stuff left, because my mind keeps coming back to it.
For years - even though I didn’t know - I wanted and yearned after something that wasn’t mine to yearn after.
And that’s also causing a huge part of the pain and conflict I (and others) are feeling right now… we’re yearning after something that is forbidden to yearn after. We covet it in other words.
For years we had right of access (or so we believed), to yearn after this person.
The introduction of the missing information about another party leaves us wondering if we have right of access to this person?
So the natural expression of missing them arises and then we’re conflicted by painful guilt that this is not allowed to happen.
You’re not allowed to want to put your attention there. To do so is to break the commandment of not coveting that which belongs to another.
I didn’t say the lessons were easy. I just know how to spot them LOL.
Just so you know, it’s even difficult to write this ;) I know what it feels like to say :) I cried like a baby while saying it. The tears were making it impossible to read :)
Any emotional release is normal - including tears, laughter and anger. So is feeling sick, tired, nauseous, dizzy, a need to urinate, having your tummy run, throwing up, getting a headache, needing to lie down. Even your period suddenly starting or sharp, sudden pains. All these bodily and emotional reactions is how your body releases. Just breathe through it.
You may want to read over it a few times. Say it out loud.
It will be even more powerful if someone listens to you say it out loud. Remember two layers of thought agreement create reality.
Confession & Prayer Exercise to Release with the Holy Spirit
Holy Spirit, I come to you to confess and seek absolution, forgiveness and help.
I have broken two of God’s commandments and I do not know how to release the conflict that lies within me.
Even though I did not know it at the time, I was guilty of adultery and coveting another woman’s husband. What feels even worse is that I still yearn and long for this man, and I do not know how to control or stop that. So I am still guilty of feeling covetous.
I don’t know what to do here. I don’t know how to release this. I humbly ask for your help Holy Spirit.
Holy Spirit, please choose for peace and forgiveness for me.
Please remove all covetous thoughts and memories of this man from my mind so that I am clear to focus on the work of God and finding the love that I deserve.
Holy Spirit, I ask for forgiveness and absolution in this matter.
I do not want to think about this man, I do not want to covet him. I do not want to have my mind wander to him or to think about him as the place where I can reveal my love.
Please help me to release all thoughts of this man, all memories of the time we shared together. Please help me to remember to call on you every time my mind wanders to him, and please take over and divert my mind when I cannot do it for myself. Please be my strength and faith when I cannot.
I feel powerless here Holy Spirit and I ask that you guide me, show me how to do this.
Show me how to find my way out of these thoughts, so that my mind will hold only what I think with God.
I am sorry for any offense or pain I may have caused. I am sorry for those who were wounded along the way of the journey.
Holy Spirit please extend love and light to all involved, so that all may be healed with this prayer and forgiveness release.
It is not possible for me to have a Holy Instant alone, or for my brother to have one without me - but it is possible for us to share one now.
I give you this moment Holy Spirit, and I invite you into this situation and these relationships, so that my brothers and I may walk in peace, complete in the love of God once again.
I humbly ask for your forgiveness and I ask that you please help me find forgiveness in and for myself. I place myself completely in your hands.