Page 1 of 7

When you click save & continue, your form will be saved and you will be taken to the next page.
Remember, you can scroll backwards and forwards in the form and edit your answers. So please take your time.


  1. Your Email Address(*)
    Invalid Input

  2. Your Partner's Email Address(*)
    Invalid Input
  1. Your beliefs about conflict and arguments

    It doesn't matter so much where these beliefs came from, it only matters that we identify and release them.

    With the tool below, you will take a look at the belief statements listed and identify which ones are partly or wholly true for you - even if you just think they might be true.

    Once you've identified which negative beliefs are at play, we're going to start removing them.

    • Look at the diagram below and note the line outlining the shape around the ear - that forms part of your Triple Heater meridian, which governs fight or flight, among other things
    • Putting your LEFT middle and index fingers together, tap lightly around the outside of your left ear, going from your face around to the earlobe
    • While you are tapping on the LEFT side, say: I am no longer believing that.... and state the belief you're removing
    • Repeat this three times
    • Now, taking your right hand, tap around your right ear from face to earlobe with your right fingers
    • While tapping say: I believe that.... and turn the old belief statement around.

    For example:

    • I am no longer believing that fights mean the end of the relationship >> I believe that every confrontation we have helps bring us closer together
    • I am no longer believing that having lots of fights means your relationship is over >> I believe that we understand each other better after every argument or discussion
    • I am no longer believing that if my partner is angry with me it means they don't love me >> I believe that my partner always love me, regardless of their mood


  2. These are my erroneous beliefs around fighting(*)








    Invalid Input
  1. How do you come across?

    Tone

    By tone I mean what your voice sounds like and what emotion you are displaying with that sound.

    • Are you calm and serene?
    • Are you angry?
    • Are you vengeful and spiteful?
    • Do you raise your voice and allow it to get emotional?
    • Do you moderate your voice tone and keep your pace calm and even?

    Posture

    What is your body language saying, how are you holding yourself and how is the other person reacting to you?

    • Are you seated and calm, keeping everything level and even and sitting still?
    • Are you sitting up straight and in a way that encourages the other party to be calm with you?
    • Are you up and in your opponent’s face? Yes, that’s what you look like standing up, shaking your finger or waving your fist – an opponent.
    • How are they reacting to you?
      • Are they sitting still, leaning forward, eager to hear what you have to say?
      • Are they backing off, trying to find a way out of the situation?
      • Do they look defensive or scared in any way?

    Intention & Content

    Are you looking for a win-win or are you just out to win?

    • Are you saying angry and inciteful things?
    • Making scathing remarks that are designed touch on personal issues or be hurtful?
    • Do you use threats and ultimatums?
    • Do you ensure that everyone feels heard?
    • Do you stop the BS in its tracks and stay on topic?
    • Do you use peaceful and calming words?
    • Do you aim to have everyone feel like they gained from the experience and that it brought them closer together?

    It’s not easy to be the one that chooses to remain calm every time there is a fight or an issue, especially not when you get no feedback, input or even cooperation in the beginning – sometimes for months.

    The first important thing you need to keep remembering on this journey to build communication is that you and your partner’s habits and patterns were not formed because of single incidents, they were formed with repetition over time.

    With this process you have to give it time, as in months or years, and lots of repetition to make sure it works and sticks permanently. In the meantime however, you need tools to help you stay calm in the moment, without having to leave the situation.

    Breathe through your nose

    One technique that will immediately calm you in any stressful situation is make sure that you keep your mouth closed and only breathe through your nose.

    • Nasal breathing activates the higher learning centres of your brain, giving you better control over yourself in any situation.

    Change your energy

    Another cool trick is to change your energy.

    You know when you walk into a room and you can mmediately sense how someone is feeling? Well people can sense that about you too. Luckily there are a few easy ways to change it.

    • One way to do that very effectively is to look at the person and in your mind just keep saying over and over and over either ‘I love you’ or ‘I’m sorry, I love you, I forgive you.’
    • Even if you don’t feel it in the beginning, after a while you will feel a breakthrough, just keep focused on your partner and repeating the mantra as often as possible.

    Online Forgiveness Tool

    Use this innovative tool based on the Ho'oponopono Forgiveness Practice to help you find forgiveness, relief and release.

    Read More

  1. Which behaviors are acceptable & unacceptable when it comes to fighting?

    This is going to doffer for everyone, so please don't exclude something just because you judge it.

    For some people, they grew up in homes where active debate and raising your voice was encouraged - basically, to the rest of us, they're loud.

    Effectively, that means that raising your voice can actually be something loving to do in a fight, if that's the way you were taught to express love.

    As with everything in the course, this is about what works for you - not for the rest of society.

     

    The following behaviors are unacceptable to us in conflicts and arguments:

    (*)




































    Invalid Input

  2. The following behaviors are acceptable to us in conflicts and arguments:

    (*)





























    Invalid Input

  3. If one of you is engaging in an unacceptable behavior listed above, can the other party call you out and tell you to stop - and will you listen and adhere?(*)
    Invalid Input

  4. Do you want to implement a safe word that one of you can use to stop the fight if it's getting too heated or you're scared?

    (*)








    Invalid Input
  1. Your No Exit Policy

    “I will not exit this relationship under any circumstances over the next six months.”

    Maybe it’s six months, maybe a year, maybe only three months… the deadline is up to you and your partner.

    Whatever the deadline, what is important is that this commitment means that you will not leave the relationship in any way or under any circumstances during that time period.

     

    Do you want to implement a no exit policy in your relationship?

    (*)
    Invalid Input

  2. The following are our agreed on boundaries of our no exit policy:

    Skip this if you aren't implementing a no exit policy.






















    Invalid Input
  1. Whatever it takes

    What are you willing to do, give and put in to make your relationship work?

    This is not just about not leaving, this is about being committed and focused on your goal and end goal, and doing whatever it takes to make your dream a reality.

    What’s key here is that you don’t let anything distract you from your end goal. Nothing.

    Whether it’s kids or work commitments or being tired or extra mural activities or even a death in the family… if you’ve committed to spending ten minutes together every day discussing your relationship and checking in with each other then that will happen NO MATTER WHAT!

    • •  If you’re apart it will happen with a call or via Skype.
    • • If you’re at someone else’s home you will find a quiet spot to be together.
    • • If you have work or family commitments you’ll make time to call each other.

    Whatever decisions you make about how you’re tackling your relationship, stick to them no matter what arises to distract you.

    Most coaching clients fall over because of a lack of focused commitment and the excuse you hear most often for people failing to meet their action steps and commitments is that they got busy or had xyz to do.

    Allowing something to veer you off your path is nothing more than self-sabotage. If you find you’re making excuses more often than not then you also really need to ask yourself if you want the change or if you actually want out of the relationship.

    (*)
































    Invalid Input
  1. Our reasons to stay together

    We're going to end this by putting something back in and giving you a way to remember the reasons you're together.

    The two tools linked below will give you more things to put back in and will help you feel closer and more positive about youtr partner in a relatively short period of time.

    Gratitude

    This gratitude exercise for couples should be done on a daily basis or as often as you remember to do it together.

    You cannot overdo it, so go crazy with this. By putting gratitude back in, you don't leave space for negativity to build up again.

    Download the Gratitude for Couples Tool

    Bonding

    This energy or visualization exercise will help the two of you feel more closely bonded and connected, and can be done together or alone.

    Don't stress if you don't feel it at first - just keep going and visulizing. When you start with energy exercises you're often not sure what to look for in the beginning.

    It can take a few days or weeks for you to start seeing the benefits - especially if it's your first go-round.

    Download the Infinity Bonding Exercise & Visualization

     

    Our list of reasons

    In the list below, I've written the responses from first person point of view on purpose.

    Often we forget that our partner feels the same way about us as we do about them. This list is great go to when things are really rough - it's written down proof that this person loves you, and a reminder of the good times that are being eclipsed by a few bad moments.

    These are our reasons for being together:

    (*)

































    Invalid Input

Make a Donation

Make a Donation! Help us to keep providing free tools and resources to thousands of souls who need help but can't afford it because they are in a Dark Night of the Soul period.

Amount:
Free Diagnostics & Tools
  • 1
Life Coaches Toolbox Blog
  • 5 signs you’ve met your false Twin Flame +

    What signs can you look for in your relationship that will tell you you’ve met your false twin flame and you may be wasting time by chasing this relationship? Right Read More
  • Mr Right vs Mr Right Now +

    We’ve all been through that dating experience… you meet the guy, everything is going perfectly and then bam! All of sudden you or he is not interested any more… and Read More
  • Why your twin flame relationship had to end – the good news +

    Why do twin flame relationships have to end and what good or helpful lesson could possibly come out of an experience so painful? Read More
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
  • 6
  • 7
  • 8
  • 9
  • 10
  • 11
  • 12
  • 13
  • 14
  • 15
  • 16
  • 17
  • 18
  • 19
  • 20
  • 21
  • 22
  • 23
  • 24
  • 25
  • 26
  • 27
  • 28
  • 29
  • 30
  • 31
  • 32
  • 33
  • 34
  • 35
  • 36
  • 37
  • 38
  • 39
  • 40
  • 41
  • 42
  • 43
  • 44
  • 45
  • 46
  • 47
  • 48
  • 49
  • 50
  • 51
  • 52
  • 53
  • 54
  • 55
  • 56
  • Email Intuitive Psychic Reading with Chemory Gunko +

    Email Intuitive Psychic Reading with Chemory Gunko. I offer 10 questions answered by email per reading. Scroll down to learn more about services and click here to see feedback from Read More
  • Distance Healing with Chemory Gunko +

    Distance Healing with Chemory Gunko. Scroll down to learn more about services and click here to see feedback from clients. Distance healing can be applied to any issue or ailment: Read More
  • Coaching Session with Chemory Gunko +

    Coaching Session with Chemory Gunko Coaching is offered via email (limited to 10 questions per session), or via Skype or telephone. Clients in South Africa have the option of in Read More
  • 1
  • 2