Lightworker Reality Check - So you think you’re the Messiah?
I’ve pondered for a while about writing this piece, because oh wow, I don’t feel like the bristling egos that will feel the need to confront me, because obviously I was talking about them in the article.
So let’s put that one to rest straight away… this is about MANY of the people I’ve dealt with over the past few years, as well as a retrospective on my own journey.
For me, the pull to be the Messiah started in my single digit years. Since I woke up at age of 4 (1982), I have known every day that I am preparing for a big spiritual role.
By 2004, I knew there was a big shift coming, and I knew I would be one of the 144,000 Ascended Masters facilitating that shift.
I have prepared for this for HOURS, every day of my life - even when I’m sick, I practice healing myself and transcending pain. I am beyond fucking obsessive about this and I never let up.
If you follow my work or know me up close, you’ll know how obsessive I am about God and spirituality and growth… it’s never far from the surface, if it’s even hidden at all. I follow every up and down - and the periods where I take the most strain? The periods where they’re resting us. It’s like I don’t have an off switch for this.
So naturally, my career has evolved to align more and more with my journey over the years, which has led me to where I am now… running ALDG and doing coaching, healing and mentoring work.
This evolution has been by necessity in many regards, because the more I aligned with my soul and God, the more weird and unacceptable I became to humans and the world. So I’ve had to immerse myself in this world, because the secular world doesn’t like what I do, and judges me harshly for it.
I have lost friends because I change too quickly (in exactly those words), I’m grandiose because I self promote and share my published articles, I’m selfish because I don’t let people wallow in their complaints, I’m mean because I’m honest, and I’m just generally not likable, because I don’t aim to edit myself to avoid offending people.
I’ve lost jobs, I’ve lost business, I’ve lost clients, and I’ve lost relationships.
We rush in life, in order to avoid offending people.
You rush to get to work on time so your boss won’t be offended - and you rush to make sure you give your allocated amount of hours each month as well.
You rush to pay creditors by a certain date each month because otherwise they will be offended. You rush to find a partner so that society and your partnered friends aren’t offended - or so that you aren’t offended by loneliness.
If you don’t rush, and you do offend them, then you aren’t likable. And if you aren’t likable you won’t survive, because the world is people and you need people around you. If those people are offended, then they will punish you (fear) by taking away the things you are attached to. So they instill a fear of the pain of loss…. and we definitely rush to avoid that.
When you’re on this path though, it’s different.
It’s a constant cognitive dissonance that you are balancing, and the further you slide up the scale, the more you see the world from God’s perspective.
In a nutshell, this journey comes down to you serve God or God serves you. By default, ego and free will mean that God is bound to serve you - that’s why manifestation works.
In order to serve God however, you have to use your free will to hand over to God in every second - to not make any decisions for yourself and let God make even the tiniest decisions for you.
When this really starts happening for you, things go potty in your life.
It’s like you aren’t in control anymore - because you’re not. God is making the decisions and you are just a vessel here to serve.
Source does NOT see the world in the same way we do - because Source is not bound by time and the rules of the morphic field.
So to illustrate this, I want you to think about someone you consider very low vibration. Got them?
Okay now think about this person and think about how you can see they keep themselves stupid and/or create drama and/or are the cause of their own problems. Just think in general about how you can see you know better and have evolved further than them - and be honest. No one but you and Source will see these thoughts.
Now put your big girl or boy pants on and take a step back…. there are higher vibration souls who see YOU in that same light.
Take one step further back and that’s what those higher vibration souls look like to Source.
Each step you take along the path takes you further and further outside of time and ego and human reality.
You know how removed and detached you feel from that person’s pain? From the time and impatience? That’s not even a percentage of how removed and detached Source feels from our personal pain, and you experience this as you grow and uncover the ego levels.
Ego is all about personalization… I am the victim, this is being done to me, I will be chosen, I am special, my personal happiness matters.
There’s no place for ego when you’re serving God, because God doesn’t work on timelines.
God doesn’t care for our dates, for month end, for year ends. God cares that you’re alive to do the work, because He gave the natural world to enjoy and live in. And death is a creation of God too - a very valuable one in the scheme of things.
So there is sacrifice involved in this - huge sacrifice. Potentially even your life.
Are you really ready for that?
There always seems to be one…. and by that I mean, at any given point, I am being messaged by someone who believes they are a high level and important soul, and they want me to confirm that fact for them.
Without fail, I manage to offend and piss every single one of these people off. From now on, I think I’ll send them to this article lol.
Why do I piss them off? Because I tell them they’re not ready.
Everyone wants to be the big soul, the shining star, the one who gets the glory and acknowledgement…. but none want to do the work.
Most of these souls approaching me have only woken up properly in the past few years.
Here’s why it won’t be you if you only woke up recently: it takes YEARS of practice to master the skills that you need to navigate at this level.
What are those skills?
- Accepting the role of the bad guy
- Being hated
- Being rejected
- Batting financially
- Being ostracized
- Feeling undervalued
- Having people expect and expect from you
- Being invisible
- Being used
- Being misunderstood
- Swallowing back your thoughts and holding your tongue
- Being the bigger person
- Taking the attacks
- Being the target
- Facing huge life challenges
- Handling more than any person reasonably should
- Romance traumas
Sounds like fun doesn’t it?
No it sounds like hell… and that’s what every single person who contacts me has in common: they are trying to AVOID the hell.
The point is NOT to AVOID the hell - the point is to be strong enough to keep the faith inside the hell.
What if you land up nailed to a cross, writhing in pain, after being beaten to a bloody pulp, with a crown of thorns shoved into your skull, suffocating to death? Who are you going to call on then?
The point is not that you get a miracle to save you from that suffering…. the point is that you endure the suffering in order to pay the price that is needed.
The souls that are being called on are the souls that know what to do for themselves in that moment - not the souls who need to be encouraged and have their pain taken away in a miracle.
If God can take the pain away in a miracle, then why does anyone have to be prepared? Why are we even needed at all?
What if this calls for your death? Are you ready for that? Can you leave your children behind? Are you willing to give up the rest of YOUR life for this?
What kind of faith do you have if you need someone to stand next to you and validate who you are?
Do you recall Jesus asking the disciples if they thought He was right? Me neither - because it didn’t happen.
If you need external validation - it’s not you.
If you don’t understand that and need it explained, then it’s also not you.
In fact, the key to Ascension and crossing the Ascension barrier is being able to validate for yourself - we call this faith. And faith is what you’re gonna need on this journey.
You’re going to need faith as your life falls apart and you learn to face the most horrible challenges. Because in that moment when you’re on the battlefield, and a demon is running towards you, flooding you with your worst fears, you’re going to need to stay strong and believe you can beat it - even though you stand there defenseless except for your armor of faith.
If you need a miracle revelation in order to achieve spiritual awareness, then what use are you in the fight?
One of the roles that we carry is to take on energies from others and reconcile them ourselves from our higher level understanding. How exactly do you do that if you’ve never done it for yourself and it had to be done for you?
This is why you can’t wake up suddenly and discover you have been chosen for your predestined role - there are skills you need. Not the least is this skill to give miracles and healing to others.
When you are in the place of everything, it’s chaos - you can’t organize everything. So you need to be REALLY good at coping in chaos.
If simple life challenges are causing you to collapse, then how can you be strong enough to cope in the chaos when there’s nothing in it for you at the end?
If someone challenging your faith verbally is enough to cause you to doubt yourself, then how do you ever stand toe to toe with Satan? Or lead thousands of people into the desert when you don’t know how you will feed them?
Are you prepared to have people stop doing business with you, or to lose your job, because of your spiritual convictions?
"But I can fight that legally," you say… not when it’s people making individual choices because you offend their sensibilities, because you don’t toe the line according to their standards.
And you won’t toe the line, because the truth will burn in you and begin to shine through you in the decisions you make. In your behaviors and words.
And you’ll find yourself getting frustrated with people and withdrawing more and more, and getting more and more depressed… and the point of all this is so that you become fearless by realizing that you and your life don’t actually matter.
In fact, the only way to be valuable is to be completely expendable.
Those issues that are causing you to reach out already - the loneliness, exhaustion, frustration, anger, rejection, isolation, abandonment, loss, pain? Those are going to get worse and worse and worse as people get more and more offended by your energy.
The Messiahs are going to be those who CARRY ON regardless of that brick wall they’re up against.
So how do you know you’re a Messiah or Prophet?
You can’t - and won’t - stop.
When you hit these moments of doubt where you are asking this question of “am I this?”, you are being given a choice as to whether you want to be that or not.
If you have serious doubt, this is your chance to say no. If you say yes though, and bug out later, there are consequences.
It is better to say no if you feel that you cannot go on, if you cannot face the task.
Being a voice for God is not about glory - and you will experience resistance on every side. Being on the front lines is a nonstop uphill battle that gets harder and harder and harder as you go along.
Everything that’s happening to the world will happen to you first, and last for longer therefore. You get prepared by going through it yourself - that’s how you know how to help people when they are ready to be helped.
Your frustration about how slow and lazy people are? That will eventually be off the charts ridiculous as you grow past a certain point.
Your need to speak out and tell the truth - regardless of the consequences? The truth is going to burn inside you ALL THE TIME. You are ONLY going to be opening your mouth to change feet - because nothing in the world is going to make sense to you anymore.
That thing where people act like they own you and are entitled to access to you and whatever you have? This is again, off the charts ridiculous.
As you grow more, you become more God-like…. and by default God serves humanity. It is the rule of free will. So people will demand of you more than ever before - and feel entitled to all of you. And don’t dare ask for equal return or an energy exchange - you OWE your knowledge to the world don’t you know?
Everything you hate, everything you’re complaining about, everything you think you can’t bear currently…. that only gets worse and worse and worse as you go along.
The point where that will change? When the Messiah breaks through and there’s no top spot left to compete for.
If you really wanted this, you would’ve been seeking for it your whole life, preparing for it your whole life. This is hard work and it comes with serious consequences - because we still live in a 3D world.
As someone who is ALWAYS on the bandwagon too early, I have experienced all of this firsthand - and it is draining and demoralizing. It’s exhausting on a level that makes you wonder why God is even fighting for this place.
The higher you surge, the more you land up offending everyone - because we’re delivering new information. Each time this kind of spiritual shift happens we bring new information into the morphic field.
People don’t like new stuff - and they don’t like change.
And we have this really shitty message of “It’s not about your personal happiness” to deliver, in a world where people believe that even God is about their personal happiness.
If you really want to be a frontrunner and on the front lines, stick your head down and work as hard as you can and face all your pain.
If you want to be a pioneer, find answers, create solutions and show yourself as a leader.
You don’t get GIVEN a role like this - this is a plane of free will, so you have to CHOOSE it.
And once you CHOOSE it, They START getting you ready - and that takes years of hard slog and life challenges. And the better you are at handling those challenges, the bigger the challenges will get… until you have shown yourself to be ready to be calm in the midst of absolute chaos.
We think about previous Messiahs and Prophets and big names and we see it from the point of view of the 3D world - the glory we know them to have now. We don’t think about the lives they led and the challenges they had to face.
On this side of it, it’s all about the challenges and life… the “glory” (such as there is of it), will most likely be posthumous. That is, after death. If there is any recognition at all.
Chances are, the big roles for this are going to be uphill battles all the way until you die. No glory, no recognition, and the real risk of an ugly and painful death by persecution.
Is that what you really want?
If your answer is no, that’s okay. The most important thing you can do is know the limits of your abilities and strength.
If your answer is yes, then it’s not going to be easy. So be prepared for that. In fact - dive into the hardest, ugliest battles you can, as quickly as possible. Push yourself to your absolute limits.
You’re going to have to fuck up, fail, endure, survive and make it through hell - to get to the starting line. And then it’s going to start getting difficult.
If you are wanting this to be handed to you, in a miracle, without effort on your part, then you’ll hate the job. And it is a job - don’t kid yourself about that.
There’s nothing easy about what people like me do - and even I am having moments where I seriously wonder if I can keep doing this.
You never really know what something is until you’ve done it, and I’m not sure I would’ve signed up if I had known the ramifications. But I also can’t imagine my life any other way… and there’s nothing else in the world I want, except to know God.
This path, even heading down it a short way, can have severe consequences for your daily life. Even if you try to keep it hidden.
You have to be sure and you have to be committed… and you’re going to have to recommit through seemingly insurmountable odds, over and over and over again. All while your faith is repeatedly tested to its limit.
And you’re only going to understand this completely in retrospect.
This is not for sissies or the weak willed.
This kind of journey takes balls and willpower and an ability to balance cognitive dissonance that will make you seem inhuman - and intensely unlikable by ego’s (the world’s) standards.
Are you really ready for that?
Do you really understand what that means?
Are you really willing to live the life of your NIGHTMARES in order to tread this path and make this happen?
Because, sadly, the ugliness of this world means that is very likely what you will face.