When you think about sexy and being sexual, the mind is very quick to jump to the relevant body parts.
So what happens when you lose a crucial sexual organ and you can’t relate to the part of yourself that defines you as a sexual being?
I’m at a very interesting stage with my teenage daughter. For the past five years she’s been growing her hair all one length, and now she wants to cut bangs and a fringe. I’m delaying her, because I’ve made that impulsive mistake, cut my hair off and literally woke up crying the next morning. Every woman I relate this to agrees about the horrible reality of waking up the next morning heartbroken because your locks are gone.
So if we define our appearance and sexuality so much by just our hair, can you for a minute imagine what it must feel like to wake up, look down and see that your penis, balls or boobs are gone? How do you even begin to define yourself as a sexual being again when there is such obvious evidence that you are no longer that?
I’m sure this is a question many transgenders ask themselves: how can I feel comfortable with my sexuality, when I see such glaring evidence that I am not beautiful on the outside the way I am on the inside? Most of us don’t even want to turn on the lights because we feel too fat; so how would massive scarring all over your chest make you feel?
Of all the sexual organs, breasts seem to fall into a category of their own with this; if you lose your penis or balls there’s no chance of being sexual, but if you lose your breasts, your ability to engage sexually is not hindered, merely your ability to relate to yourself visually as a woman.
Botched breasts are a stark reality
Between cancer-related mastectomies, voluntary preventative mastectomies and botched breast jobs, looking down and seeing their breasts gone is a stark reality that many women around the world face on a daily basis.
For many of these women the option of reconstruction doesn’t exist. Where it does exist, having a part of your body that looks like a nipple is no substitute for having an actual nipple with sensation.
In steps cover up specialist and tattoo artist, Candi McLaren of Eye Candi Tattoos. Over the past eight years, Candi has worked alongside many of these women to create tattoo nipple caps, tattoo bras and full chest pieces designed to help these brave survivors accept the changes their bodies have been through.
Taking time to get to know each of the ladies, Candi works alongside them to create beautiful masterpieces that cover any scarring effectively and are truly representative of the lady’s personality and loves. The most important part of what she does though is talking to the ladies, and Candi is the first to admit that she is as much a counselor as she is an artist - for pretty much everyone who sits in her chair.
A brave new world
As more people come out their sexual shells and we as a society become less conservative about the healthy parts of sex, we’re seeing more and more incredible women like Candi coming forward – women who are creating solutions for blocks that would have completely stalled someone’s sexuality in the past.
While her work is widespread and well known, there are still millions of women around the world that don’t know that there are options like this available for them – so help us spread the word. I can’t imagine a better way to mark your survival of something as extreme as breast cancer than turning yourself into a walking masterpiece.
Even if your body has absolutely been through the wringer, you still deserve to look down at yourself, see beauty and feel love. And beautiful souls like Candi definitely deserve recognition for helping survivors achieve that feeling again.
You can connect with Candi on her Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/candimcl
Win a Tattoo and other great prizes at Sexpo 2015
Win an Eye Candi Tattoo, tattoo vouchers, Different Strokes vouchers and interactive online life coaching courses!
Simply enter online, we’ll do the draw the Friday night, and you can see Candi ink the winner’s tattoo live at the Different Strokes stand on Saturday afternoon. Don’t worry we have consolation prizes for people outside Joburg too.
Enter now: http://bit.ly/lctsexpo
Join Chemory, Miss Paige & Candi McLaren at Sexpo 2015
Chemory will be at the Different Strokes stand at Sexpo 2015, to answer questions, facilitate Q&A sessions, teach basic striptease moves and more.
Join us at stand 63 in hall 3 at Sexpo, Gallagher Estate, Midrand, 24-27 September 2015.
Tickets cost R280 per person and you can buy gear, learn information, experience BDSM plays, watch shows and so much more.