The Socially Unacceptable Heartbreak of finding out You're The Other Woman

The Socially Unacceptable Heartbreak of finding out You're The Other Woman

Alternate Reality Teaching Post 1 - The Basic Storyline & Emotional Layers

Like so many women around the world that I am now hearing from and about, my life was brought to a rude and abrupt halt just over a month ago, when I found out that the love of my life, the man I had been involved with for the past four years, is married to someone else.

And he has two young kids to boot, which alone would have been an exclusion factor for me, even if he’d been divorced and available to enter the relationship with me.

The even worse part? We’d been friends for six months before getting involved - and he knew I would not tolerate or accept any of the abovementioned in my life.

So he purposefully abused my friendship and trust to manipulate me into a relationship I would never have knowingly entered.

The worst part? He had two FEMALE friends who assisted him in the lie and in manipulating me into entering a relationship with him.

This extended to the point of when I did break it off, and he couldn’t reach me telephonically, I would be contacted by these two women internationally to get me to reinitiate contact. With the one particular incident that immediately popped to mind, I’d cut off contact for less than a day.

But in less than a day, I was literally receiving communications and messages telling me he was suicidal and falling apart, and if I didn’t reach out to him he may hurt himself.

Looking back now with the new layers of information, I am just shocked and appalled and outraged at the level of depravity and manipulation.

All told it took eight months to get me to commit to a monogamous long distance relationship with him - and I was truly hesitant at first. In fact I wasn’t even attracted the man at first.

But I get ahead of myself. So let’s start at the beginning.

How this will work...

Please note that I’m unpacking this in layers. This first layer is for general relationships and betrayal. And some Twin Flame stuff. The next post may be Twin Flame recursions only. Then the next post is how I broke out of the alternate reality he’d created and how that was created. And so on.

Each layer will build on the previous layer, but will be its own set of complete info on its own. This makes it easier for you to stop when you hit a level you’re not ready for yet. But it gives me one story that I can put everything into - and the detail gets AMAZING!!

So you will need to follow posts if you want to do this one properly. Also, past a point, posts will only be available in the Advanced Lightworkers Discussion Group or one of my websites, in a log in controlled area of the site.

I will not only show how the alternate reality was built, but what it took to undo it. It’s been the most amazing journey - I have to say that. Wouldn’t have missed this for the world.

For teachers using the posts to learn, watch for the following pattern: each section is clearly about it’s specific topic.

First I take you through emotions, using my words to help anchor the reader into the emotional experience. Then I cycle through links that I know are relevant from the patterns.

If you watch someone read the posts, they have these aha moments and giggles as they make the connections to their own experience.

If you are actually physically watching and guiding them, then try to get them to verbalize each thought out loud. Then I cycle up to a spiritual lesson and/or process or tool, where relevant.

Another important thing that I do is I make it okay to have the emotions by acknowledging them and verbalizing them before the reader has to. I break privacy initially so that they don’t have to face the first fear of doing it.

It lightens the cognitive dissonance in the morphic field when they have seen me process it consciously before they have to. They just have to agree to experience the relief. Agreement is easier than creating an intention from scratch.

Why am I choosing to share my story in detail?

I teach from my life - it’s what I’ve always done. It’s particularly powerful because I don’t need to limit what I can share, or get permission, and I can use the real life examples that make the stuff really make sense to students. All this without breaking anyone’s privacy but mine.

At the same time it is about breaking privacy. Privacy is about shame and is probably the most core component of all your ego battles.

We tend to hold things private and separate in order to protect our egos. Anything held private is an offense against God - that’s where the process of confession stems from.

One of the fastest tools for healing therefore, is to break privacy. When you break privacy and share the information, you share the load of that emotional stress in the morphic field, and the shame, humiliation, embarrassment, vulnerability and doubt are removed - because you’ve faced the part that was the most difficult: owning the experience by acknowledging it out loud.

And even when you are the one that has been cheated, you are still embarrassed and ashamed.

I haven’t quite figured that one out at it’s core yet, but it’ll come I’m sure. There’s definitely a layer of external validation fears in there. It might even be the societal layer of cognitive dissonance in the field - not meeting the socially accepted norms and expectations in other words.

Another thing that comes to mind is that we need to change this thinking... why should victims have to be ashamed for being conned by a narcissist or bully?

Breaking privacy, or confession, is the same as when you hear news or a secret - you need to tell someone else to make it real.

This has to do with how the morphic field works, and the need for two layers of thought to be in agreement or alignment in order to bring something into reality - or make it real in other words.

So when you break privacy and share something, it spreads it out and makes it easier to accept: first by removing ego layers, and second by sharing the weight of the emotional load.

You’ve seen this yourself when talking about something difficult: the first time you tell it is the worst, the second time is easier, the third even easier…. and by the twentieth time you’re starting to add detail to make it sound more exciting, because honestly, it sounds just a little boring to you right now.

It’s a process of desensitization basically.

The final reason I’m sharing is because of the number of women who are experiencing something similar right now - my lessons lighten their load.

While I have every empathy for the wives in these situations, I also have empathy for the Other Women who didn’t even know that they were Other Women.

I can’t change the fact that this is my history - and I cannot ignore four years of my life in my teaching. Especially not with something as relevant as what is happening to women and Twin Flames around the world right now.

Even though we were the Other Women, we were equally betrayed and played, and our pain is no less because we happened to land on the wrong side of the wedding ring. And the pain of Twin Flame separation within this is no less easy to bear.

Many of us still feel like we’ve had our hearts and guts ripped out.

You don’t ever see content aimed at helping the Other Woman, because she’s always labelled the bad guy.

So here you go ladies - I’m not forgetting about you this time. Although if you KNEW you were the Mistress, then you will get no sympathy from me.

My compassion lies with those who were led to believe they were in a legitimate relationship.

I will also be sharing all the tools that I’ve used to pull myself up and out of this, and achieve emotional freedom from this horrible mess I was thrown into, in future articles.

I hope we can also help you find your way to the emotional freedom - and love - you so deeply deserve.

A miracle of... shock, horror & heartbreak

I channel directly from Source, God, the Universe, a Group of Ascended Masters…. whatever paradigm works best for you.

To get around the naming issues, I usually just refer to They or Them. Title-casing included.

I’m also pretty scarily psychic - and yes I’ve asked the question as to why I didn’t see this properly sooner.

And there are three answers: first I didn’t want to see it and I wanted to trust him, because I was seriously head over heels in love with this man.

In my eyes, he pretty much walked on water. Looking back at my notes however, I did know. I just wasn’t accepting it.

Secondly I did see it - and I repeatedly asked him.

I used questions and statements like: there is a piece of information I am missing, and when I find it everything will fall into place.

Please also understand that everything in my life was falling down around my ears by this stage - this piece of information became crucial to every area of my life. I was going bankrupt, losing my business, doing massive loads of work that I just wasn't getting paid for.

He knew what I needed to know to stop me from losing everything and he didn’t tell me. Even during the many times I broke up with him.

I also asked him: What are you not telling me? What are you hiding from me? Are you living with someone else? Are you involved with someone else? Did you go back to your ex? Do you want me to step back so that you can go back to your ex?

And then my famous line… don’t lie to me because I will always find out. I always do - truth just comes out around me. Eventually anyway.

And when I say I asked, I asked often.

If you’ve coached with me or met me, I’m like a dog with a bone. Once something niggles at me I don’t let it go. I keep going until I find an answer. I mean who actually needs sleep anyway?

As a result, and because I felt there was something wrong, I kept breaking up with him and then we’d get back together with his million promises that this time we would work it out and live together.

When I was gathering content for my attorney in fact, the very first video I opened from him, purely randomly, proves the entire story. Full of promises and reassurance and I love yous.

All the promises that this time we’d work it out, he’d get over his fear of us living together and we’d make this work. Even when I contacted him to confront him once I’d found all of this out, he tried to get me to stay with him - even offering to leave his wife and make a choice between us.

When I tried to end the conversation and pull out he says I have one more thing to tell you: 'I found God. I don’t just believe in nature anymore - now I believe in God.'

If you know me just a little, you’ll know that I can’t ignore God. That’s super manipulative. When I call him out in the conversation and say he’s doing this just to keep me talking, he admits it outright.

So he did his typical con artist/narcissist thing and turned it around when I raised the issues. I was blindly in love and I fell for his lies because I wanted to believe them.

Thirdly was a massive spiritual reason that involved a part of the Age of Aquarius shift.

We needed a build up of energy and we needed training in the morphic field and working with timelines.

People like to think of the Divine as being super organized - but there is no fixed destiny.

What They do is look at the morphic field and the individual, as well as what the two can tolerate. Then from the stories that are available, They pick a story that will create the desired outcome.

This is pretty easy to do actually, because every story only exists because it is a recursion of an original pattern. So there is always a matching recursion available somewhere - or one that can be stitched together from other smaller stories.

So even when somebody does something unconscionable on this level, there is a way They can fit it into the Divine Plan.

And They have to honor our free will - and like a monkey, I kept choosing him with my free will.

And if that isn’t enough to make a girl want to give up on manifesting, I don’t know what is LOL!!

Around 2 years ago, while sitting at a local restaurant we tend to frequent, I was promised a miracle in this whole situation. I was just told to wait and be patient.

Fast forward 2 years later, a few weeks after I had once again broken up with this twit, and cut him off, and I was calmly lying on my bed and They said: Google this.

I’ve had a few lessons of faith the last few years, and lessons of obedience, so I grabbed my phone and Googled. Three or four short hops later, I was looking at photos of him, his wife and kids - under his real name, which I had no idea of until that point.

The information was entirely Divinely delivered. It was a miracle of revelation - nothing less.

I have these moments in life… I kind of think it’s the universe screwing with me actually. Basically, what happens is, when I’m in the worst possible situation that can happen, I just somehow get fine.

I’ve had the horrible suicidal moments, but the real hard stuff, the stuff that would have anyone seeing why I did commit suicide? That stuff I sail through. Go figure.

This was definitely one of those moments. The calm just kicked in and I stayed there for a while. I’ve had moments where I’ve felt some of the grief, but for the most part I’ve been able to handle it via Ego mitigation.

I did have one 30-second period where I descended into the human side of it, and I won’t be doing that again LOL :) The pain of this would be entirely overwhelming.

So if you are in the thick of the horror and the emotion, I just want to say to you I am so sorry for the pain you’re in. It’s horrific. That moment hits you like a ton of bricks. I am sending you the biggest energetic hug right now - just close your eyes and feel it.

And yes, you’d normally feel powerless in a situation like this, but in this situation you look like the bad guy on top of everything else. So there is judgement aimed at you. Often with the question: how didn’t you see it?

You think I haven’t asked myself that? I’m not a stupid girl by any means…. this was just beyond anything I’ve ever experienced.

I don’t even know how you perpetuate a lie for that long. How do you keep that information in place? Truth be told, I do absolute honesty because it’s easier than trying to remember a whole complex web of lies LOL!

Once the truth is written it exists in the field and I can just go and fetch it. A lie is a completely internal mental construct, so you have to hold the entire thought reality within your own field, with your mind alone.

I can’t even tell a story without sounding factual LOL. That level of deceit is truly behind my understanding. Although kudos for the mental strength it took to pull it off.

There is only one clear incident I can think of that gave everything away, thinking back now. Only one. Pretty damn impressive over four years :)

So part of what is going to help you right now is to identify the moments where you knew, or almost knew. Reinforce them by writing them down or sharing them with a trusted friend.

It’s important you break privacy as the shame is a big part of the emotional load you are feeling right now.

And then pick out the moments where you didn’t want to see it - where you hid it from yourself. Learn from the experience so that you don’t make the same mistake again.

And have compassion for the Ego responses you showed. You are only human after all, and this is a truly unconscionable betrayal to have to face.

The point of me sharing and giving you resources is to lighten your emotional load as an empath. The point of the examples and detail is to give you reference points to work off. There are similarities to all our stories, and the things you see in my story will trigger releases in you.

This is a truly crappy mess that so many of us are in right now - but you matter to God and you matter to me and you matter to the Twin Flame and Lightworker Missions.

As an Alchemist, I will give you resources that help you turn your emotional lead into spiritual gold. Because we need your light and we want it shining bright right now.

Being the Bad Guy & Being Labelled the Mistress or the Other Woman

So yes - the judgement. It kind of took me a few minutes to register that this made me the Mistress. Fuck My Life. Fuck My Fucking Life. Seriously? You have to be shitting me here.

How on God’s green earth did I ever become somebody’s fucking Mistress for four years?

Being a Mistress is about the single worst label that you could possibly have given me to wear. I find nothing more offensive. And I can feel so many of you nodding your heads in agreement right now.

I’ve been on the flipside… I’ve been the wife and girlfriend that was cheated on and abused.

In fact, I was that from birth, because my father is the consummate narcissistic asshole, and he left every single woman he was ever involved with for somebody that he was cheating with.

Infidelity, narcissism, alcoholism, Ego, betrayal, ridicule and emotional abuse were the hallmarks of my entire relationship with the man that fathered me biologically. And watching my mother, and then stepmother after stepmother after stepmother, endure years of cheating and abuse, made me determined that I would NEVER allow myself to be in that position. And yes I did push myself to try it once - I always go towards resistance - and I couldn't go there. Just not my thing at all.

So yes, a strong mirror of resistance - and Ascension is a fire sale: everything must go.

Having had worked in the sex industry did make me guilty of that in a way - and it is a burden of guilt I have born every single day of my life. And I have taken enormous strides to rectify that in my life, and make amends for the damage I am sure I did throughout that time. That thought never leaves me.

This mistress/guilt thing is a major theme for me - and for many of us.

So to be put in that position - against my free will, when I have clearly stated that I will NEVER accept this - is an outrage beyond anything most could ever imagine.

This is really not something we ever would have chosen for ourselves.

It’s a massive offense - especially when so many of us are so particular about monogamous, committed relationships.

Worse than that was that this man had known me for six months before we first got involved. Then we’d been involved for a brief bit, and then broke up and then I was pulled back into the relationship by him and his female friends.

To clarify this bit: this break up happened because this man told me that his ex-girlfriend had suddenly appeared out of nowhere with a child she claimed was his. I kept insisting on a paternity test and he kept refusing.

At that juncture I broke up with him after the following conversation where I said to him: You want to go back and do the right thing by your ex and your son. And you want me to stay on the sidelines and be your mistress. He responded yes.

To which I responded that he could go fuck himself, because we’ve done this for six lifetimes already. I had seen the karma and had it confirmed by two others at this point - I just didn’t (want to?) make the link that they were married in this lifetime as well.

I then told him that under no circumstances would I EVER agree to be his mistress. There are no circumstances under which I ever tolerate being second best or the other women and his choice was very simple - we either move forward into a committed MONOGAMOUS relationship - or he vacates my life permanently. He opted for committed and monogamous.

What an idiot I was hey?

I wasn't his Mistress... I was his girlfriend!

In fact I was his girlfriend for four years of my life. The most crucial four years of my spiritual journey - and he was fully conscious of my spiritual journey the whole time. Like you could get me to shut up about that LOL ;)

In fact, I was so publicly his girlfriend, that last year he had a public Facebook profile under his false name, linked to mine as my boyfriend. And an instagram profile.

I have a pretty decent following on Facebook and he was active on my profile, there are photos of him up on it, and he was involved in the group I run there.

In case you don’t know, I’m a spiritual teacher and relationship coach. So the damage to my reputation from this could have been severe - it could still be severe. Which is partly why I’m putting it out there - I’m not having this come back and bite me in the ass.

All of this while his wife was halfway through her second pregnancy. And yes, she’s on Facebook too.

Oh and did I mention a holiday in South Africa where he met my family - including my father and ex-husband and daughter? And stayed in my home?

And he had regular ongoing contact with my daughter, to the point of where if we got back together or started talking again he would ask if I had told her yet that he is back in my life. Usually the first conversation. He communicated with her digitally as well, assuming the role of an honorary stepdad.

This is all very ironic considering the reason he’d started cheating on his wife was because she had had a child that he didn’t want and couldn’t accept. As far as I could gather she got herself pregnant and he didn’t want a child. He admits he didn’t want to accept the child at all.

And then at a stage, when we were seriously at the point of about to live together, he had raised the issue of wanting to try and obtain custody of the child from the mother - who I had been told was a slut of a woman and the ex-girlfriend, who had lied and told another man that this was his child.

If that had gone ahead I would have found myself in the middle of a divorce and custody battle I had no idea I was stepping into.

For the record - my exes are all friends. My ex husband and I shared a house for years after our separation and divorce, and have only gone our separate ways now because he and his fiancé are expecting a baby next month and I don’t want to live with a baby or young child. Point is, I don’t do bitter or acrimonious break ups. I stay friends.

The man (for lack of a better word) made no attempt to hide his connection to me at all in public - I suppose assuming the false name and identity he had created would protect him.

The extent of the false identity was insane - in fact, he even went as far as having a fake passport under the false identity that he used to travel with to see me, and I’m assuming for business, or potentially for other affairs he was having.

He had social media profiles under the fake name, email addresses, multiple Skype accounts - it was just nuts. And from the outside he really looked like a legitimate person.

I suppose I’ll never know for sure now :) I’m not sure I’d believe any answer that came out of his mouth anyway - and I don’t psychically read anything I am emotionally involved in. You never get a clear reading through a veil of emotion anyway.

I took my time and was careful - and I still got expertly played!

I've had many a moment of feeling like a complete moron for not seeing this sooner.

A lot of us land up in these situations because we have a tendency to rush in where angels fear to tread. And then They gave us rebellious natures on top of that.

ROTFLMAO…. I know I have some stories to tell in that regard - and I’m sure you do too. I’ve often stopped and thought: oh shit, what did I get myself into now? You know that feeling well, don’t you? ;)

Well we tend to do the same thing in relationships. We’re so sure of how we feel, so used to responding to our internal promptings, and so firmly rooted in now time that when we feel a connection and spark, we run towards it with open arms.

I didn’t do that this time. In fact, to be honest, I didn’t even like him when I first met him.

It’s online dating and social media dating sites… you gather random friends and chat to people to kill time, and he was one one of those people. I chatted to him because he was around.

I actually met, fell in love with, and got into a four month relationship with someone else during that time, and this man only became my friend that I spoke to when my boyfriend wasn’t around to chat to. It was a way to kill time for me.

And over the next four months he just kept coming back and mailing me - and sometimes I answered and a lot of the time I ignored him. But he just never went away.

And when I found out the guy I was seeing had lied to me about being single (never married) when he was actually divorced, and we broke up, this man was there to pick up the pieces. And then he was the only person I was speaking to for a couple of months - and then he was my best friend.

Just bear that in mind for a minute - I ended a relationship with a single man because he had lied about being married previously. Possibly a bit extreme on my part I’ll admit, but still: how do you go from that to thinking it’s okay to make me a mistress?

So by the time we fell in love and got involved it just seemed the most natural progression in the world - I’d known this man for months already. I’d been talking to him everyday - and it was often five to eight hours a day. The timezones meant I chatted after work and he chatted during his work day.

So to say I didn’t spend time getting to know him is a lie - I did. I knew his personality and his ways of being and what he was like as a companion - I never anticipated that my friend, my actual friend, whom I had spent hours building trust and a dialogue with, was lying to me from the very first day. And that two female friends were helping him do it. And that I never even knew his name - when I had openly shown him my entire soul.

That betrayal - uh, there are just no words for it.

Then something interesting happened around that time period - I felt compelled to write him a letter one day and explain that even though I had a business, I wasn’t wealthy. I was normal, I had debt. I was solvent, but I wasn’t flush or wealthy or a meal ticket in any way. I didn’t remember that for a long time honestly - it was only in the past few days that that piece of the puzzle dropped for me in fact.

Surprisingly - or not surprisingly - the whole story about the ex happened not long after this email.

For him, I was going to be the meal ticket and he would never have to work again, and then I could support his son and he could alleviate the guilt by having the child there with us and having me do the parenting work. What a total asshole. I mean really. He would take this child away from its mother and give it to his mistress under false pretenses?

What exactly did he think I was going to do if he went ahead with that and I walked into a legal mess of this magnitude with no foreknowledge of what I was signing up for? Fighting a mother who wants her child for custody? What the actual fuck?!

I would have been no less angry than what I am at present. Probably more so - because I’m in no hurry to sign up for kids. I’ve done my bit for the population - I replaced myself. My daughter’s dads and stepdads have been very busy ensuring she has siblings. She has plenty - she needs no more from me LOL ;)

I’m at the very end of the kid journey - I have a cool adult to hang out with already. The thought of diapers and school plays again just makes me want to die actually. I can’t imagine anything more tedious and draining.

If a child’s mother wants to raise it, that should happen. Fathers are completely irrelevant at the end of the day - any woman who has raised a child will tell you that.

Very few fathers ever step up properly, and if they do it is usually because they have a wife who won’t step up. My daughter grew up without her father, as did I, and my mother, and we’re all fine. In fact I know more people from single parent homes than I do people whose parents are still together.

I never questioned why my parents split - I questioned how they got together in the first place.

But I do NOT hold with separating a child from its mother if at all possible. And I will rip you into actual shreds if you dare to try and separate me from my child.

So to do that to another woman? What a complete ass. I can’t believe the depths of the depravity in that.

Throwing me into this mess and taking her child away? Wow - just wow.

What I got when I first found him

I’ve mentioned that I wasn’t attracted to him at first - and I wasn’t. There was nothing worth being attracted to.

In his own words from our conversation: "I flourished after we spoke and after we stopped I felt like shit. I believed it was the same for you.” This statement starts getting really fascinating at the alternate reality/morphic field level when we get to that point. But for now, it’s enough to know that we both did feel like absolute shit if we tried to separate. That was an important clue later on. ;)

At the time, I think the coach and healer in me could not ignore the fact that he needed help, and as I do, I started dispensing advice. And he started taking it. And then he started feeling better. And so I’d give the next bit of advice.

And before I knew it, this man had gone from dark and miserable and honestly pretty suicidal, to being somebody worth loving. As we do, I’d taken on empath load and I’d begun to fix him.

Now one thing I have to give him credit for is his mental flexibility.

If you follow my work, you’ll know I’m pretty sharp and pretty fast. So anyone who is going to be my primary romantic bond, has to be able to keep up with me mentally. I do not edit in my most private relationships - I don’t edit at all.

This means I move at the speed of light and am more likely to get annoyed that you aren’t keeping up, than I am to stop and explain slowly and gently. It requires mental flexibility to keep pace with me.

He definitely had that mental flexibility - which as you can imagine, led to impressive healing results on the spiritual, mental, emotional and physical levels.

I started becoming fascinated by him and his ability to play with me mentally - and over the time we were together we developed some incredible abilities - like telepathic connections that enabled us to call or speak to each other. To connect emotionally over distance.

That telepathic bond has been hell to break, and has kept us coming back to each for four years.

It’s not entirely broken but I can keep at it bay now - but I can’t stop knowing when he’s thinking about me. That is its own form of torture let me tell you.

One way we used the bond often is that I usually leave my phone on silent, so he would mentally call me when he came online and started sending messages, and I would know to drop what I’m doing and come online for a chat. So I got very accustomed to the sound of his mental call.

We used to wake up together every morning chatting, and then he would make a video for me before he went to work. Usually at the beach. I can understand the beach - just not sure how he managed the wake up text chats in the mornings.

Hiding an affair is not easy. And I’m not exactly a person of few words LOL :)

Doing all the work to make the other relationship work

So when I met him, he was a very broken man.

When I first found out about him being married, the calm kicked in and I spoke to him for a few days. One of the questions that I asked was what did you get from me that you lacked in your marriage with your wife?

The answers that he gave me were immediate and as follows: love, excitement, a voice, a friend, comfort, warmth, understanding, structure, support, sex, kink, boobs. The boobs made me smile.

Oddly enough I didn’t expect him to answer this question when I asked it. And I commented that in the conversation. This was a question I expected him to ignore and the speed at which he answered it still stands out to me.

And he was right in what he had said earlier - he flourished when we were together. He became more of a God. He realized and blossomed and got stronger.

In one part of the discussion we actively discuss the fact that he owes his family and marriage as they currently stand to me and what I made him.

And that was probably the moment I really started seeing red.

Okay wait a minute here - so you’re thanking me for putting in four years of back breaking work into your and my relationship - so that your wife who couldn’t even keep you happy in the first place, can benefit?

And my magnanimous attitude should just be okay with that?

And I should just politely step aside and let you get away with this?

Um... I don’t think so Mister.

Here’s a shovel whack full of honesty for my ex and his wife: your entire marriage is me. Even the wife is in love with me - the parts of me I programmed into the husband.

The person in the middle of your marriage bed is me - and that’s not just because your husband asked me to help him pick a new mattress for you.

And that is the point where I thought to myself: Myself - so far and no further with getting used and abused.

I did not do four years of work building up that man for the benefit of another woman.

I did not heal him and grow him and do endless session after endless session, and build my entire Twin Flame story around him, so that his wife - who has proven that she is incapable of doing this for herself - can reap the rewards.

I have had enough of doing work that I do not get paid or rewarded for. I will no longer accept or tolerate it - from anyone.

And now I finally understand where that overwhelming energy was coming from, that was seeping into every area of my life....

Subconsciously I knew what the energy was - I was being used and cheated and abused.

My services were being taken without equal return or payment.

So ladies yes - there are going to be a few moments with this where you are going to get blindingly angry.

So the next tip is get angry!

Get into your full dragon form, let all that anger build up inside you, picture the person that it’s aimed at in front of you, and send that karma straight back to them immediately.

Imagine you are blowing the hottest flame of all your anger onto the person until they incinerate into dust.

I usually complement this by saying do a full reiki outbreath - that hard push breath out of all the energy and emotion.

Really crunch your abdomen over and push all that air and energy out hard against the top of your mouth. As hard as you can.

It will probably take you a few go rounds to get comfortable doing this, because anger and emotions like that don’t come easy to us naturally.

But that anger is building up inside you and making you feel insanely restless, and this is the process They gave me to release it. And it really seems to work well.

A million promises... ALL sweet little LIES

When I was studying NLP my trainer had one of her famous statements that always stuck with me: it’s never too late to have a happy childhood.

There are a few ways you can understand that one, but one of the most powerful reasons is that you can take a single piece of information and reframe your entire childhood with it - every experience is seen through a different lens and the resulting cinemascope can transform your experience from painful to glorious.

Spiritual journeyers will have experienced those moments where you look back and suddenly everything makes sense in context of your journey so far. Remember a moment like that?

The same thing happened when you discovered your partner’s betrayal. And by happened, I mean it’s still happening and is going to be happening for the next few weeks and months as you reconcile everything mentally and emotionally.

So you’re going to look back at things your partner said or did, special events, stories they told you - and you will realize where all the lies fit in.

Suddenly things will make sense that were hazy before. Suddenly the penny will drop.

As that happens you will begin to reframe your entire relationship from trust to lies. And that is a bitterly painful series of ego deaths to go through.

Any Ego death is a loss of identity.

In this particular case you are losing the identity you had most aligned yourself with consciously, and that will be painful.

Additionally, for many of you Twin Flames, all of this is intrinsically linked to the learning of your spiritual journey.

So firstly, you need to separate out the fact that you were duped and understand that it was a decision from Them.

We were only meant to find out now, because now we can do something about it.

I cannot stress how important this step is going to be - as you start rejecting the relationship, you do not want to unconsciously reject the learnings you have gained from this period in your life.

The ego deaths that are coming are going to be at the level of I AM.

  • I am love
  • I am loved
  • I am accepted
  • I am wanted
  • I am needed
  • I belong
  • I matter
  • My needs matter
  • What’s happening to me matters
  • Love is balanced equal return
  • We can operate at the speed of trust
  • God will always protect me
  • I can be my true self with my Twin Flame
  • My Twin Flame will complete me

In addition there is going to be a massive duality conflict inside you as the Twin Flame bond keeps kicking in.

So you will feel blindingly angry one minute, and then a surge of love the next. Remember the dropping mirrors can renew the love bond in a Twin Flame, where it can make other relationships fall away completely.

Please do all THREE of the TWIN FLAME BREAK UP exercises if you resonate with ANY of the following statements:

  • I feel like I will die without my Twin Flame
  • I feel completely like a part of me is missing, kind of like my arm has been cut off
  • I am completely restless and unable to find peace for more than three weeks now
  • I dread that my Twin Flame will commit suicide
  • I have been having premonitions of death or dead children
  • In the past, my Twin Flame and I have been thrown completely out of balance when we’ve tried to separate
  • I cannot function mentally, spiritually or emotionally for more than three weeks now
  • I am near suicidal or at the bottom of a pit of depression that I can’t seem to find my way out of
  • I feel completely powerless and hopeless, like there is no point to life

In most cases, these Ego Deaths and statements can be rectified with the three TWIN FLAME BREAK UP exercises.

This series of statements will also reset your Twin Flame bond, or give you a chance to make a clean break.

I would strongly recommend you do the prayer to dedicate relationships to holiness as well.

Here is the wording for the three statements and then the prayer:

{THEIR FULL NAME AND SURNAME} I spiritually divorce you across all time, space, creation, dimensions, realities, alternates, universes, and cosmoses. I release our connection across all cords, connections, layers and realities.

{THEIR FULL NAME AND SURNAME} I call back the Divine Love Twin Flame Template to return to its source, from across all time, space, creation, dimensions, realities, alternates, universes, and cosmoses. I release any connections across all cords, connections, layers and realities.

{THEIR FULL NAME AND SURNAME} I call back all incorrectly placed desires, wants, emotions and needs on our Twin Flame push-pull duality to return to their rightful source, from across all time, space, creation, dimensions, realities, alternates, universes, and cosmoses. I release any connections across all cords, connections, layers and realities.

If you feel strong enough add: I extend this healing to all Twin Flames on Earth.

You must say this with intention and mean it. If you are doing this but thinking I don’t want to lose this person, the energy will be thrown out.

If you do this, be prepared to lose the person permanently and to have a massive change occur in how you feel about them. Also know that this can trigger them to reach out, so please don’t answer for as long as you can hold out.

You really want the energy to cycle so that you can see how you truly feel. In the first 72 hours you’re just feeling the contrast of the energy change, not the results.

Prayer for Dedicating Relationships to Holiness

You can do this both before and after the release exercises. Do it after if you only do it once.

It’s not a requirement because I know how everyone feels about the religious stuff still, but honestly, I would make it one if I could.

Do the prayer for dedicating relationships to holiness:

I desire a holy relationship for myself so that I may share it with my brother whom I love. It is not possible for me to have a Holy Instant without my brother, or for him to have one without me - yet it is wholly possible for us to share one now.

And so I choose this instant as the one to offer the Holy Spirit, that His blessing may descend on us both, and keep us in peace.

Holy Spirit, take this relationship and dedicate it to Holiness so that my brother and I may walk in the love of God, complete once again.


When you use this prayer, it invites the Holy Spirit into your relationship with your Twin Flame and opens the path for it to be used as a tool of healing.

This can be applied to other relationships as well, but should be a requirement the moment you identify a Twin.

Inviting the Holy Spirit in after invites him into the new bond, post restoration of the template. This allows him to release and heal any details that need to be released.

Clearly there will be more unpacking coming, and much more yummy fun morphic field and alternate reality layers to unpack - this is the baseline of the story and to help those who are currently experiencing the human side of this kind of experience.

Please feel free to post questions and I will answer them as best I can - but try to stay within the confines of each post and try not to get too far ahead please. There’s a ton to unpack here and we have to do it in layers.

By the end though…. what you’ll know and learn and be able to do - PURE MAGIC. I kid you not ;)

Love & light always Beautiful Soul xo


All 3 Twin Flame Break Up & Reset Exercises

Written by Chemory Gunko/Amara Christi

Chemory GunkoThe author and creator of the Life Coaches Toolbox, Healer, Life Coach & NLP Practitioner, Chemory Gunko, also known as Amara Christi.

To learn more about working with Amara, click here.

To read what clients have to say about Amara, click here.

To view Amara's articles, click here.

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