At the beginning of each mirrors tool you'll be asked to define a statement - but what is that?

A statement, simply put, is the starting point for your healing process. 

A statement can really be anything...

  • It feels like nobody likes me
  • I think Sue is arrogant
  • I hate the way my boss speaks to me
  • My husband doesn't love me

If you want, you can even leave your statements at that.

That's the beauty of the mirrors tools, the sessions take on a life of their own with the questions and the information tends to flow.

No Statements at All!

One way to use Mirrors, especially the latter set of mirrors, is to just answer the questions as they stand.

You would just apply the questions in general to your life and your current set of circumstances.

Simplifying Statements

However if you want to, you can simplify your statement down to a single concept.

So for example, I feel like nobody likes me can become unloved.

My husband doesn't love me can become commitment as an issue you're working with. Or it could be intimacy.

I hate the way my boss speaks to me can become about arrogance, humility or confidence.

Expanding Statements

If you want to get even more bang for your shifting buck, then your solution is to begin to expand your statements you're working with.

By expanding your statements to include all the affiliations, you get a much wider view of all the aspects at play in your situation or challenge.

Dualities for Statement Expansion

In healing and coaching work, every concept really lies on a scale with it's duality, which can be a polarity, conflict, complement or contrast.

  • Polarity: if you're working with non-attachment, you're really working with non-attachment and attachment.
  • Conflict: non-attachment would be conflicted by possessiveness, while attachment is conflicted by aloofness or distance.
  • Complement: non-attachment would be complemented by trust, while attachment could be complemented by insecurity and loneliness.
  • Contrast: non-attachment would be contrasted by lack of self worth while attachment could be contrasted by confidence.

Making it Work

How you'd make this work for you is to work out all the dualities you can think of, and then keeping that list with you for an expanded group of statements to reference.

So you wouldn't just be asking where you're not attached, you'd also be asking where you are attached, where you're possessive, where you're distant and aloof and more.

The benefit of working this way is that you can shatter through much bigger and way more complicated belief systems.

Yes, it takes longer, but once you've developed the habit of thinking in terms of dualities it becomes a natural part of your way of being that will support you in being more fair, more moderate in your responses and approaching situations with more compassion.

Written by Chemory Gunko/Amara Christi

Chemory GunkoThe author and creator of the Life Coaches Toolbox, Healer, Life Coach & NLP Practitioner, Chemory Gunko, also known as Amara Christi.

To learn more about working with Amara, click here.

To read what clients have to say about Amara, click here.

To view Amara's articles, click here.

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Dualities

Every concept lies on a scale with it's duality, which can be a polarity, conflict, complement or contrast.

Below are a list of some of the most common areas you may be working with, with a set of dualities already defined.

  • ARROGANCE

    An offensive display of superiority or self-importance; overbearing pride.
    Polarities
    humble, lowly, modest, unarrogant, unpretentious
    Complements
    rudeness, meanness, cavalier, confidence, high-and-mighty, high-handed, self-important, pompous, presumptuous, pretentious, stiff-necked, supercilious, superior, uppity
    Conflicts
    acquiescent, compliant, deferential, meek, passive, submissive, unaggressive, unassertive, unassuming, unobtrusive, yielding, reserved
    Contrasts
    bashful, cowering, cringing, demure, introverted, mousy, sheepish, shrinking, shy, subdued, timid, quiet, retiring
  • INTOLERANCE

    Unwillingness to tolerate or respect opinions contrary to one's own.
    Polarities
    broad-mindedness, liberalism, liberality, open-mindedness, tolerance, abiding, enduring, forbearing, patient, tolerant
    Complements
    impatient, bigoted, illiberal, narrow, narrow-minded, prejudiced, small-minded, uncompromising, unforgiving, unyielding; complaining, fussing, griping, grumbling, kvetching, protesting, squawking, whining
    Conflicts
    accepting, forgiving, long-suffering, resigned, uncomplaining, willing; indulgent
    Contrasts
    extreme, progressive, radical; impartial, objective, unbiased, equity, fairness, impartiality
  • TYRANNY

    A cruel or harsh act or proceeding; an oppressive or tyrannical action.
    Polarities
    democracy, self-governance, self-government, self-rule; freedom, self-determination; autonomy, sovereignty
    Complements
    authoritarianism, autocracy, dictatorship, despotism, dominance, supremacy, dominion, reign, sovereignty
    Conflicts
    emancipation, enfranchisement, freeing, liberation, manumission, release
    Contrasts
    bliss, blissfulness, ecstasy, elation, euphoria, exhilaration, exuberance, exultation, joy, gladness, happiness, cheerfulness, hopefulness, optimism, sunniness, content, contentedness, contentment, satisfaction, delight
  • DISHONESTY

    A lack of honesty; a disposition to lie, cheat, or steal. A dishonest act; fraud.
    Polarities
    honesty, integrity, probity, truthfulness, veraciousness, veracity, verity
    Complements
    deceit, deceitfulness, falsehood, mendacity, untruthfulness
    Conflicts
    artlessness, forthrightness, good faith, guilelessness, ingenuousness, sincerity
    Contrasts
    candidness, candor, directness, frankness, openness, plainness, plainspokenness; honesty, probity; dependability, reliability, reliableness, solidity, trustability, trustiness, trustworthiness; decency, goodness, incorruptibility, integrity, righteousness, truthfulness, uprightness, virtuousness
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