Every now and again on your journey, you’re going to get to points where you feel like you need a break.
That break may be a break from the mental strain of shifting, or a break from the circumstances created by shifting, like deciding to manifest financial relief after a period of drought and trial. The point is that it’s not uncommon to reach that stage where you feel like you need to take break.
The problem with these breaks however, is that the way we take them can actually make us go backwards on our journey’s progress so far.
When I downloaded the instructions for building the Ascension Level Calculator ( http://bit.ly/myascensionlevel ), I realized that there are two ways to use it: the first is to answer instinctively, according to what you’re feeling now. This gives you a read of the level you’re currently operating at.
The second way to use the calculator is to calculate the highest levels you’ve achieved, so the highest levels you have access to. Understandably this yields a higher score, because you reach past what you are feeling in the moment, to find the highest understanding you’ve ever reached.
Another important thing that this tells us, is that we are NOT always operating at the highest level we’ve reached. We can see that our current emotional state takes preference over our highest level of learning.
Ergo, you do not automatically always operate from the highest resonance you achieved - it is possible to slide back and regress into old, more entrenched behaviors.
On a physical level, this is about neural pathways.
Every time you perform the same task or series of tasks, it follows the same route in your brain. This is how it becomes “unconscious” - you follow the neural pathway (habit) you’ve formed, and you don’t have to THINK about it so hard while you do it anymore. Your focus is not on the task the way it was when you were learning it.
Just think back to learning something that you do often now, and how easy it is to do it now without thinking. That’s your subconscious habits at play.
So you land up dong it that way so many times that it becomes something you do without thinking - or without realizing you’ve even slipped into doing it. You consider it a “natural” part of you.
When you’re shifting however, you are building new neural pathways, new habits - and like learning anything new, it takes time and focus to forge these pathways. And then you have to use them so many times (think thousands!) that they become the default path that your mind goes to in that particular instance.
This is why people regress into old ways of being under stress - your system will use your most entrenched pathways when it’s having to operate for you when you can’t think. So you might have quit smoking years ago, but under extreme stress, you suddenly find yourself reaching for a smoke.
For me, I have a particularly funny one… I used to wear glasses and had laser eye surgery many years back. But when I’m flustered, I will still try to push my glasses up on my nose to see better - when I haven’t worn glasses for nearly a decade lol ;) Sometimes I really hit myself hard on the bridge of my nose sand it’s always a shock to discover that I don’t wear glasses anymore. The default habit of wearing glasses is kinda just how I still think of myself.
So it takes mental focus to keep these new pathways and ways of being in place - and that is the mental strain and tiredness you are feeling when you decide to take a break.
However, when you take the break, you let go of the focus directing you to stay on the new neural pathways, and your old default habits and ways of being just “naturally” kick in again - you “go back to being yourself”.
Many people think that you can just take a break, slip back into old habits and then pick up again when you’re ready - but you can’t. You lose your momentum, and so it’s basically like starting from scratch again. And you sometimes then have to find a new pathway, because the momentum was started by the surge of the shift and breakthrough statement.
It’s like quitting smoking for a few weeks. You’ve gotten over the initial cravings, and done the hardest part of the work, but now you just want a break from all the strain, so you go back to smoking for a week again. When you quit a week later again, your body won’t just bounce back to where it was on your quitting journey: you’ll be back on day one again.
And you’ll have to go through the hardest parts of breaking the old habit and forming the new habit again.
Each of these stages is a journey.
You’re walking along the path, and you’ve gotten say 5 miles into a 20 mile journey - but now you’re tired.
So what you do is stop and rest WHERE YOU ARE - you don’t walk all the way back home to rest and then start the journey again the next morning. You find an inn five miles along the path and stay there for the night before moving on.
So, in real life terms, you guard against falling back into your old lifestyle, old habits, and default ways of being.
You’ve got to know yourself to do this. You have to know what your greatest weak points are, and then guard against falling into those habits.
If you don’t, you create a pattern in your system where you say to your system: “okay - after a while of shifting, we leave these changes behind and ‘go back to being who we are’”.
But this is nonsense, because the point of this process is to change you - you have no idea who you are anymore. And believing you are still that old person who started this journey ONLY serves to invalidate and negate the changes that have happened in you.
This is important, because at the advanced level the changes aren’t always pretty.
- External validation vs internal validation means that you will become more isolated from people, and relationships will fall away as you stop wearing masks.
- Dropping your own personalization layers will make you way less willing to pander to ego - and can make you seem incompassionate by 3D standards.
The ongoing onslaught on the Dark Night of the Soul is designed to subject you to extreme, ongoing pressure, so that you develop the stamina to withstand extreme, ongoing pressure.
If you’re standing in the middle of a war, on a battlefield, you can’t stop your enemy charging because you want to take a break and just “be yourself” for a bit. You may however give your enemy a good belly laugh as he knifes you if you air the request ;)
Most importantly, you’re forgetting free will.
The moment you crossed the responsibility = power lesson, your journey became a journey of conscious free will choice - you just did not know what that looked like yet.
So each stage you get to, you get a choice about what to do next.
If you tell the universe you want a break, a break you’ll get it. If you say you want some financial relief, you’ll get that too. In purely spiritual matters, everything you ask for is granted.
Your free will has to be honored first - and so if you choose habits and behaviors that delay or undo your progress, you will be allowed to. And in fact - this is how most journeyers STOP their journeys, and reach their plateau of development.
You look around, and you decide that the consequences of what you’re doing, the changes that are happening to you, are too much, and so you slow it down.
But if you take away the consequences of shifting, it’s only because you’ve removed the shifting.
It might not feel like that however, because you’re learning a lot of details about where you are. But really all you’re doing is becoming an expert at navigating that level, without moving to a higher level.
And we call that feeling of circling over the same statements ad nauseum, stuck. So you can stop or get stuck.
It’s the difference between using growth to navigate ego (serve your own ego desires), or to reach God.
For me, it was the money thing. Every now and again, as things got tough, I’d say screw it and go find a marketing project or a marketing job for a while.
But each time I did that, I lost momentum I had built in following, in posting, in the communities, and when I came back, it was like I had to start again. Worse in fact, because now people were pissed at me because I had been gone so long.
So now, when those thoughts arrive and I feel tempted to go out into 3D world and make some easy cash, I remind myself of what I will lose.
It isn’t easy to do that when you’re broke and worried about bills - just like it isn’t easy to swallow that people aren’t liking you because you don’t wear their masks and pander to their egos anymore. But I make the choice anyway - using my conscious free will.
I swallow the fear, work through the mirrors, and steel myself, finding the strength to stray in the game, so that when I return from my (short) break, I have not lost momentum, or slipped back too much on my path.
And if I have slipped back into old ways of money anxiety again, I will lose a few days to retraining my mind and thoughts to stay positive again. I will have to reimplement all those new neural pathways I was building, so I lose not only the time I was off, but up to two or three weeks just getting back to where I was.
A Dark Night is really difficult to navigate.
Believe me, by the time you get a majority of the way through it, you will know exactly why you earned the right to be recognized as a mystic.
These challenges you are facing because of the shifts are necessary - way more necessary than you realize now. All of them carry vital tools, skills and knowledge that you will need later on.
Do not be desirous of short term gains - don’t aim for short term gains. Often they are exactly what you don’t need long term.
Ego will constantly try and trap you with the idea that you must feel good now - instant gratification.
But what good is bringing you to a place of peace with your partner now, when the discomfort was trying to tell you that they were cheating you?
What’s the point of alleviating the headache now if the pain was there to show you a brain tumor?
What’s the point of alleviating the immediate financial stress now, when the solution you find to solve it yourself is ultimately the job and role that you were sent to fulfill? Your purpose in other words.
One of my oldest friends met her husband through a car accident… what if she’d been warned not to drive her that day? That one car accident led to her marriage.
If I’d had my goal of living with my Twin Flame instantly gratified, then I would have been living in another country before I found out that he had catfished me. It was so much pain - for four years - every time I did not get what I wanted, but now…. now I am just so grateful that I was the mistress and not the wife. At least I could walk away and wasn’t legally bound to this man.
And you can bet your bottom dollar that if he’d left his wife he would’ve cheated on me… once you’ve lived with that thrill, going back to a monogamous bond is nearly impossible. So if I’d gotten what I wanted, I would have been stuck dealing with him instead of free to walk away when I found out the truth. So yes it was four years of hellish Twin Flame love pain - but long term, I’m so glad for all of those disappointments.
And solving the money issues over six years? Wow - the information that that has led to is just incomparable - from how to build a money free world, to what is causing suicide and depression in people, to understanding ego, to being able to relate and have compassion for those who are battling with finances. And then importantly, putting my mind to how it can be solved.
Without the personal money worries, I wouldn’t be thinking about how money affects us all. My continued practice with this also means I can maintain this kind of lifestyle, without getting stressed out, and teach others how to transition. I can see the benefits now.
But it was years of hell to get here - and LOTS of being disappointed in the moment.
Immediately bad isn’t always long term bad.
You can’t see how these lessons, especially in an onslaught of months and years, make a difference - but they really do.
Trust the process, stay in the game and don’t let the challenges delay you. Dive in as deep and and hard and far as you can - you can survive shifting overload.
You will only serve to delay yourself with every break you take.