What is “The System”?
When it comes to concepts like "the system", we tend to talk in vague circles around it - because it’s so hard to see.
Once you do see it however, and you understand how all-pervasive it is, you understand why you couldn’t see it before.
But that’s partly what makes it so hard to describe in the first place - almost everything you see around you can be used as an example of the system at play.
It changes however, when you stop focusing on the examples, and begin to focus on the aspects of the human psyche that come into play with the system.
Think about someone you met recently. Now prepare to tell me about them briefly.
What’s the first thing you usually say about someone new you’ve met? The first thing that likely came out of your mouth?
In most cases you would have said: I really like her... OR… I really don’t like him.
All of us start there - it’s like a human default.
In two words, the system is exactly about that - likability and survival.
In a core nutshell, the system is the idea that:
“I must become AND remain likable in order to ensure my ongoing survival.”
What are some life examples of "the system" that show us this likability/survival link?
"A young child stops crying or throwing a tantrum in public when a parent reacts with anger."
The child fears for its survival, because it is reliant on mom and dad for shelter, sustenance, warmth, communication, interaction and affection.
In this case, the parent is responding with anger because they expect a certain set of actions to occur in order for the child’s behavior to be deemed acceptable in public circumstances (likable).
The risk of not meeting the parent’s expectations of being likable may therefore result in a lack of survival resources being made available to the child.
You see this when parents threaten: “Stop that or I will leave you here!”
Often people’s minds jump to the idea that only if kids are raised with positive communication, interaction and affection, did they receive this formative training and understanding.
These are life needs that every child will have - they will however adopt and learn whatever process is presented to them during this formative time.
So an angry parent who uses physical force creates a child who:* communicates with anger, * interacts by lashing out, and * believes affection is expressed by means of physical pain.
A baseline example of this is an abused child who looks for abusive partners: the only form of ‘love’ they recognize, based on their experience, is abuse and violence.
The reason for this is that the memories they assigned to the concept of love at the formative stage, are filled with those kinds of abusive experiences.
We go to what we remember, and only look for what we recognize, in other words.
The PROGRAMMING for the communication, interaction and affection ALWAYS takes place during those formative years…. the CONTENT absorbed varies from person to person.
This is how your childhood shapes you, and sets the tone for what you personally deem to be likable and acceptable behaviors.
The parallels to what other children experienced then becomes how the system uses “parent/childhood issues” to keep you mired and trapped.
The parent/child issues keep you bogged down by monopolizing your thoughts and inner voice, so that you are left unable to focus on other things that lead to the questioning that leads to growth and freedom.
It most effectively does this by monopolizing the time you have available to you for thinking and other mental pursuits.
It would be fair to say that boredom is often a precursor to serious questioning.
If you never get bored because your mind is always wrapped up in issues like “what my parents did wrong,” then you’ll never start asking the questions that really matter.
By keeping issues like that trending and current, they become ongoing permanent distractions for the real things we should be looking at.
Everyone has parent issues after all... even if your parents were missing.
And often, when you manage to forget to the parent/child issues that plague you for a moment, it is only because your mind is currently filled with thoughts of survival anxiety.
The abuse example is in itself another expression of the survival/likability drive…
“Parents using physical force for discipline, ranging from slapping to beating."
Often it doesn’t take much more than a small physical shock before the child’s fear of physical damage and pain causes them to adhere to the rules and guidelines expected of them.
In abuse cases though, the likability requirements are usually driven by the parent’s comfort and irritation levels, and are less to do with societal pressures.
The parent uses excessive physical force, which makes the child fear for its physical well being, which is being threatened with pain.
Everyone understands pain is bad.
An even more clear cut example of survival threats in parenting, is the parent who threatens to put a teenager out on the street:
“Adhere to my requirements so that I can like you, or I will take away your survival resources."
Listen to me or "I will cut off your bank cards", "...take away your allowance”, “…stop paying for school"... we all know those stories, sadly.
At later ages this evolves into concepts like:
"I must be good enough to find a partner (likable) so that I have someone to stand by me and help me survive."
"My partner must be acceptable (likable) in the eyes of my family so that he/she can survive in the closed group."
"I must be likable enough in my employer’s eyes or I will no longer be able to maintain my lifestyle (survival)."
As a recruitment icon once said to me: "People hire people they like.”
If someone is going to give you money on an ongoing basis, and ensure your survival, they aren’t going to do it if they dislike you.
In the worst cases it becomes beliefs like:
"I will never find love, which I need for survival, so I will create a child who is like me so that I can perceive myself as likable."
This stems from the false idea that kids automatically love their parents and offer unconditional love, which is another system programming:
“If I keep you around and look after your survival, you will be likable and acceptable”.
This is why parents automatically assume that other people will like their kids - and get offended when you don’t.
It’s also why parents get offended when their kids don’t share their value system.
We are honor-bound by "the system" to match the criteria of likability to meeting someone’s survival needs, even when meeting their survival needs is the first stage of the process.
Try walking around for day or two and tell everyone you meet that you don’t like kids if you don’t believe me. Watch the kinds of reactions you get.
Kids are dependent on us for survival… of course we must like them. “They’re helpless.”
Aren’t they so cute when they’re helpless and under your complete control?
When they are FORCED to adhere to YOUR worldview in order to be liked enough by you, to ENSURE their very survival.
Control by force and threatening your survival… or parental love?
Then we start stepping up a bit more globally in our examples, moving away from the personal stuff:
Likability is about meeting a certain set of standards and requirements in order to be deemed acceptable, and included by a group, or groups.
Sounds a bit like the education system doesn’t it?
"You must have a certain grade of education, at a certain standard, in order to gain access to this next-level educational institution."
The higher the level of institution you are deemed likable enough to enter, the better your future chances of survival are.
"You must have a certain grade of education to be acceptable (likable) for this job." Survival then chimes in with: "if you don’t have a job, you will starve".
"You must meet certain requirements and standards (likability) to enter this closed circle of thinkers, which you must do in order to ensure your survival in that field."
"You must meet certain requirements and standards (likability) in order to be able to move to a piece of land in another part of the world."
People emigrate for survival issues, and many expatriates leave because they seek a better level of survival than they can achieve where they are.
So, meeting the government’s requirements of likability to be a citizen becomes a survival level issue.
The likability/survival aspect is what drives us to seek approval from people:
- Find love - be the special likable person in someone’s life so that you don’t have to survive alone.
- Meet the parents and family - be likable as a member of the closed family group in order to be included (survive).
- Get a business card - be likable enough to be the “likable” public representative of a company.
- Get hired - be likable enough to be included in a closed group that will raise your baseline level of survival.
- Earn a degree - be likable enough, and meet the standards, to be admitted into a closed group of thinkers. Over time this improves your level of survival - or lifestyle.
- Be acknowledged as a partner - be likable as being worthy of being in a relationship; i.e. public acknowledgment of your likability and suitability for romance.
The reversal of this is the stigma against single people: clearly your lack of likability (a romantic partner who accepts you) means that there is something wrong with you.
So... should you be allowed to survive if no one can accept you? Are you likable if you’re single? Is there something wrong with you?
So, if we are liked, then we must be acceptable.
But the problem is that you can’t please all of the people all of the time… so the moment you encounter an ego that is offended by you, you’ve failed.
If someone picks a fight, gets upset, doesn’t want to talk to you, ignores you, rejects you, breaks up with you, leaves you…. it automatically must mean that you are not likable.
Or if you experience a drop in your baseline survival level needs and costs, you’ve also failed.
Have you ever noticed how often survival issues are paired with major life stages and crises?
You subconsciously attract survival issues because the concept that "being unlikable is a threat to your survival" is so ingrained in you, that you believe that you have to have some sort of punishment when you are perceived as not likable.
Don’t believe me?
What’s the first thing you think when your boss goes off at you for making a big mistake?
I’m willing to bet it’s along the lines of the following thought: “Oh shit, I hope I don’t lose my job.”
Even if you hate your job, and the environment, and your colleagues, and your boss, your fear of survival will override all of that when it kicks in.
So even if you want to leave, you will fear being rejected (unlikable) and forced to leave, because it threatens your survival.
The first thing you think in a big relationship fight? "I hope I don’t lose my partner" - which often includes financial stability and home.
What do you think when you’re single? "Will anyone ever love me? How will I survive alone?"
What does the angry divorcee say? "I will make your children hate you (likability) to ensure that you do not get the love and connection you need from them for the ongoing survival of the relationship between you."
This is effectively saying: “You are now unlikable. I will find a way to threaten your survival." The first thing you think when your child does badly (likability) at school? "How will they ever be able to look after their survival needs?"
In some cases, you may ask: “Will this child be reliant on me for survival forever if they aren’t smart enough (likable by academic standards)?"
But then survival adds its own extra whammy to the mix… and that whammy is money.
If you could build a home on an open piece of land with your bare hands, would it still be your home? Of course.
But we’ve bought into the belief system that the only way to get a home is to BUY one.
And that home must be pretty and likable enough to become an asset that can support you in times of future survival needs, i.e. worth a decent amount of money so that you can sell it if you need to meet your money-survival needs in the future.
The governments make it even more difficult by limiting access to land and creating building permits and guidelines.
You need money for the land, and you need money for the licenses, and to hire qualified contractors, and to buy materials that meet the grade.
All of this is because if your house does not meet the government’s requirements for likability in building houses, then you cannot meet your survival needs of shelter.
One of the worst kinds of societal failure you can be? Homeless. Without shelter.
Homeless is the ultimate failure, and the ultimate indicator of lack of survival.
Have you ever considered before why you automatically dislike homeless people?
So money becomes the tool of survival.
It is possible to grow your own food - if you have the money to afford the land. Otherwise you have to buy into the survival concept of money.
You can’t feed yourself if you don’t adhere.
Also, now you need ongoing money to buy seeds every year, because Monsanto has made very sure that you can’t get new seeds from the crop you’ve yielded.
And their very easily-spread genetic material means that when they come into contact with still seed-bearing crops, the sterility in them becomes a dominant genetic factor.
Kill off all the plants that still make seeds and Monsanto has a captive market.
So even to grow your own food requires money as the baseline tool of survival… you have to keep BUYING seeds every year.
We’ve made survival about money - you can no longer obtain the resources you need for survival without money.
One of the reasons is that many of the products now exist only because of money.
These lifestyle products have been adopted as baseline needs… and many of these are “requirements" that do NOT occur naturally in the world.
This means that, in order to stay alive (survive), you have to buy into the capitalist system - you don’t have a choice.
Nothing happens without the interference of money anymore.
An example that really drove it home for me was watching an Alex Jones piece the one day, in which a group of Americans were walking past a housing facility for Muslim refugees.
The camera was focused on the outside of the building, showing open windows.
One of bystanders then commented: “Oh shame, these poor refugees!”
"It’s so hot and they don’t even have air conditioning - they have to make do with opening their windows.”
When did we reach the point where survival became dependent on air conditioning?
When people got used to that level of comfort… when we stopped focusing on survival and started focusing on LIFESTYLE.
But then the system got really sneaky….
There’s this wealth coach I followed for a while, while I still bought into the idea of sorting out the financial mess of my dark night of the soul.
She had this concept that she introduced first: raise your baseline broke level.
Basically, the idea is that you decide on a minimum limit of cash in your account, say USD 10,000, and the moment you hit that level, you treat yourself as broke.
The point is to leave that money there as a buffer at all times - an emergency stash.
Really all this does is raise your level of survival fear though…. now, even though you have USD 10,000 available, you are thinking with a mindset of lack.
You’re looking at the 10,000 and saying: “I have nothing left!"
After a while of reinforcing this habit, eventually nothing is going to be enough to fulfill you, because you have only trained yourself to see lack.
This is what we’ve done with life…. we’ve made elements crucial to our survival, when they are are not really crucial.
And then we made it sexy by calling it a LIFESTYLE.
Air conditioning is a great example of this lifestyle mindset...
You walk into a house and don’t see the charm it has to offer; instead you see the missing air conditioner and that becomes an additional cost if you move in, devaluing the worth of the property.
You have to have the air conditioner in order for your home to be socially acceptable (likable), you see.
And an aircon is a baseline lifestyle (survival) need! I mean, what will people think of you if you can’t give them air-conditioning?
Will they still like you enough to visit you? Will they shun you completely?
Will they ever like you again?
But what’s the worst that can really happen if you don’t have an aircon?
You get hot and sweaty - in rare cases maybe heatstroke.
But 99% of the time you’re just going to feel uncomfortable and sticky.
Uncomfortable is not an acceptable level of survival for people - and that’s the problem.
There are plenty of jobs available… sweeping streets and moving trash.
People aren’t interested though… they want a job where they can sit quietly and play on their smartphones, earning vast volumes of money while doing the minimum possible amount of work.
In their bathrobes. On the couch.
"The Government says I must have a balanced diet that includes all of these items - and fresh fish,” they cry.
Nonsense - if you want fish, you go to the ocean. People survived full lifetimes before any of these nutritional guidelines came along.
Want to know how we can be sure those nutritional guidelines don’t matter?
Have you ever actually adhered to them personally? No?
Well if they were crucial, you wouldn’t be alive to have this conversation right now.
You’ve bought into a lie, masquerading, in most cases, as “science.”
It’s not real if it’s not scientifically proven, you know?
It’s no longer enough to be wise... now you must be able to scientifically verify every opinion or fact you dare to proffer - a whole new measure of likability.
And it’s only smart if a scientist thought of it first and did some experiment (he made up) to measure it (against a scale he made up), and then published his observations (his theories and thoughts about what he observed).
Science - the ultimate God and provider of tangible facts.
Well theories, and newer theories to replace those old and outdated theories that have since been proven wrong, anyway.
Theories... discovery... imagination… oh you mean like Science Fiction?
One of the extreme places we see the likability/survival drive manifest is actually one of our biggest financial blocks: the hoarding and accumulation of wealth in order to ensure the security of future generations.
Building future wealth for your kids and grandkids in other words.
People are so desperate to be liked and remembered, to gain some form of immortality, that they are trying to buy that ongoing survival (immortality in remembrance), by making sure that their kids and grandkids are catered for with wealth.
Obviously, if you’re the one that did all of this for them, then you will be remembered fondly - and importantly, the wealth you’ve provided will give them time to honor and remember you, taking away the stress of life that would interfere with the time needed for you to be remembered.
You raise their baseline level of survival (lifestyle) in order to make them feel special, so that you can ensure you are likable enough to be remembered.
Do you even realize how desperate for approval that is?
How little self worth a person places on themselves when they think that their only value is to make people’s lives easy and comfortable with money and things?
Basically it’s saying that you bring nothing to your family of worth, so you have to compensate with money.
"You are not good enough - and nothing you do will ever be good enough”... that’s exactly what it presupposes.
If you don’t believe this to be true, then I challenge you with this:
Define your success without using any reference to money, possession or material gain. That includes assets, salary increases, wealth growth, or even aspects that are defined by class status and cost, such as private school vs. school.
So saying you moved your kids to a private school is about money - the fact remains they are in school. The fact that they passed the school year and improved their results is an achievement however.
You’re going to be surprised at how difficult this challenge is when you apply it properly.
Really it asks: what you done of real worth beyond earn money, increase your expenses and buy stuff?
And when did you start believing that a long laundry list of monthly expenses is the measure and experience of success?
But, how they trap you with this, by creating false life needs you must pay for on a monthly basis, is even more brilliant!
They’re selling you money in the future for the monthly payment of money now.
Not always guaranteed money in the future mind you - just the potential of future wealth for you giving up money now, and at the end of every month, in perpetuity.
This includes wealth policies, retirement funds, short term insurance, medical aid or health insurance, life assurance, endowment policies, stocks and bonds and every other piece of fantasy product they’ve invented to steal your money. Including hedge funds.
Oh I can see your shock now LOL…. yes they are STEALING your money.
After a few months you become convinced you REQUIRE these things for survival - so now your monthly costs include all those policies.
Just do the simple exercise of calculating the costs of your monthly payments for policies and credit - and watch how much money you are wasting every month.
And most of these policies you’ll never see results from in your life.
The worst example I ever saw? A 20-Million life policy that did not pay out, because the insurance company found a reason why the lifestyle was an issue - even though it played no part in the death.
Note that the issue was that they didn’t like her lifestyle.
Yes read that sentence carefully again… they didn’t agree about how the client lived, so they didn’t pay out on a policy they’d collected on for three decades.
A policy meant to pay out to her children in the event of her death... even though her lifestyle, and the issue of contention, had nothing to do with the way she died.
The death was caused by a lung infection… but the payout was denied because the insurance company said the client lied about how much alcohol she consumed.
Survival and security of her kids and grandkids? Gone. Collapsed: in one fell swoop. After a full lifetime of unbelievably hard work to secure that future.
And did the family get all those installments back? You bet your ass they did NOT.
That insurance company doesn’t have to pay you anything if they can find a reason not to.
What’s even more fascinating is that you can only qualify for a certain maximum value of life insurance… because your worth is calculated on what you earn.
Your entire value as human being is reduced to what you earn.
The rest of the facts about you are just your “risk factors”.
The risk being, of course, how likely it is that the insurance company is going to have to pay out on the policy.
It’s a risk for an insurance company to have to pay out on a policy, when the product they sell is the guarantee that they will pay out.
Just stop and think about that for a minute… it is a RISK for an insurance company to DELIVER on the product they are selling you.
When I was diagnosed with epilepsy, a similar thing happened to me: I lost my first house because epilepsy is considered a mental illness, and so the income protection insurance I’d paid for every month refused to cover the mortgage payments.
So protection against illness insurance does not cover mental illness - but alcoholism and sex addiction are valid illnesses?
Epilepsy, which is technically the misfiring of the electrical impulses in your nervous system, and not under your control at all, often triggered by flashing lights for example, and which you CAN treat with medicine, is NOT a valid illness?
But alcoholism, which is an addiction and within your power to control, and which you CANNOT TREAT with medicine, is a valid disease?
And transgenders should be allowed to use medical insurance resources to transition, because otherwise they’ll be sad…. but you can’t get cover for an illness you legitimately contract?
And honestly, without sounding callous here, what exactly happens to transgenders who don’t get their sex change, except depression and potentially suicide?
Should we not then, by the same standards, give big wealth payments to the millions of people who are DEPRESSED that they can’t feed their children tonight?
Or wouldn’t that be politically correct? Is ongoing hunger not trendy enough in these circles?
Or you how can run out of funds for chronic medication?
How does that works for transgenders? Do you stop taking hormones when the funds run out? Stop being your gender for six months of the year?
This is how they use issues in media and society to distract you.
By keeping you focused on the needs of the minority groups, they keep you from seeing the realities of your own world and how these decisions impact you.
But don’t you dare be politically incorrect and not care about these issues… minorities are more important than anything.
You HAVE TO LIKE THEM - if you don’t, you will be shunned. Your survival depends on it in fact.
And by feeding you ideas like being transgender or having an addiction is a disease, they also take away your power to control your urges.
"You can’t solve alcoholism on your own, you’re not strong enough... it’s a disease you need medical help for."
Cue the medical insurance sales rep… and sign here to authorize the monthly debit off your account.
But how many times has your medical insurance run out? How many times have you had to pay cash for medical treatment as a result?
Did you know that you can’t draw money out of your retirement policies (401Ks in US terms I think), in most cases, without government permission?
And then you still have to meet a set of rules (likability), even if you need that money for survival.
Among those rules, in some cases, are ideas like if you have accumulated money past a certain value, you’re not allowed to withdraw any of it.
Okay so you have a big lump sum of MY money that I’ve saved with you - but now I’m not allowed to withdraw or touch it?
Nope, sorry. You can only get the money if you are past a certain age - or dead.
So it’s cool for people to die of starvation, and then you’ll pay out to any remaining family that can be found, but most likely the government. Or hey, maybe the company will keep the money for themselves...
But who cares? Your survival is no longer an issue anyway.
You’re long dead - and now they have all your money.
The spiritual bypassing of this whole concept is also extreme….
If you are truly spiritual, and have been touched by God, then everyone will be able to see it in the fact that you are likable, because everybody loved Jesus, Buddha and similar teachers so much.
"You will be likable if you are truly of God, and that will ensure your ultimate survival - immortality."
But the truth is that if you’ve read the Jesus story properly, you may have noticed that he had one of the most brutal public deaths in history - that’s how HATED he was in his time.
Many accounts say he had only 300 followers at the time of his death, in a population of approximately 260-million.
This means that ONLY 0.0001% of the people on earth liked Jesus at the time of his death.
What the story does show clearly is that having people not like you will make it okay for them to turn on you, en masse, and ensure your lack of survival.
Basically, what the system says here is, if enough people don’t like you, it’s okay for them to turn on you as a mob and kill you.
Awesome system we’ve created hey?
Likability keeps you in line in every area of your life - and the system makes you believe that your very survival is dependent on it.
But you were born a rebel for a reason - and every great soul has been a frontrunner, a pioneer, a rule breaker.
If you really want to break the system, then the way to do it (that can’t be stopped), is to take the onus off likability and everything it leads to - including political correctness, celebrity, history and immortality.
The second way is to get clear about what you need for survival - and start living for right now. Stop worrying about the survival of your grandchildren; it is their responsibility to carry themselves, the way it was your responsibility to carry yourself.
Your children and grandchildren have their own lives to live, their own choices to make… your job is to prepare them, and get them to that age where they can fend for themselves.
And anyway, you’ll almost never return to the same family line twice… so all you’re doing by ensuring the wealth of future generations, is making it more likely that you will be born into poverty in the system, in your future incarnations.
Chew on that one… LOL ;)
About the author:
I offer ongoing regular teaching for seekers and journeyers. I also offer one-on-one and distance psychic readings, coaching, mentoring, and healing. Search for Chemory Gunko or Life Coaches Toolbox.