5 ways an abusive relationship changes you

The worst thing about being in an abusive relationship with a bully, abuser or narcissist is the long-term damage it does to your self-esteem – the way it changes how you feel about, see and interact with the world.

1. You take the blame for everything

Whether it’s you blaming yourself or others blaming you, you feel guilty all the time, because you believe you deserve to have all the blame lumped onto you.

This causes you to become apologetic or defensive and over time can really make you feel that the whole world hates you. I mean, why wouldn’t they when everything that goes wrong in the world is so obviously your fault?

2. You feel obligated to do what people want

Maybe it’s because you feel responsible for everything that goes wrong in the world and want to make up for it, and maybe it’s because you think doing what people want will make them value you – whatever the reason, you will become a passive or active people pleaser.

At the worst end of the scale, you’ll become a passive-aggressive people pleaser, doing things to please them and then resenting them for it.

3. You never express your needs

You never ask for what you want or communicate your needs in relationships and situations.

You’ve been told and shown and for so long that your needs don’t matter that you actually start to believe it after a while – so really, what’s the point of asking for what you want? You clearly don’t deserve it.

4. You believe nobody will ever want you

With repeated abuse and bullying your self-esteem is worn down to almost nothing.

As a result you stay in the situation because you become to believe that no one else would ever want you. In the worst cases, people will begin to mistake the bullying and narcissistic behaviour traits for love.

5. You settle for less than you want

When security and stability are unmet life needs, you become desperate to hang onto any semblance of security and stability you can find.

As a result, you stay in relationships where only one or two of your needs are met, for fear that you won’t find anything better out there.

After all, you don’t deserve to, do you?

Written by Chemory Gunko/Amara Christi

Chemory GunkoThe author and creator of the Life Coaches Toolbox, Healer, Life Coach & NLP Practitioner, Chemory Gunko, also known as Amara Christi.

To learn more about working with Amara, click here.

To read what clients have to say about Amara, click here.

To view Amara's articles, click here.

Facebook  Facebook  Twitter Instagram Instagram  YouTube LinkedIn

  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
  • 6
  • 7
  • 8
  • 9
  • 10
  • 11
  • 12
  • 13
  • 14
  • 15
  • 16
  • 17
  • 18
  • 19
  • 20
  • 21
  • 22
  • 23
  • 24
  • 25
  • 26
  • 27
  • 28
  • 29
  • 30
  • 31
  • 32
  • 33
  • 34
  • 35
  • 36
  • 37
  • 38
  • 39
  • 40
  • 41
  • 42
  • 43
  • 44
  • 45
  • 46
  • 47
  • 48
  • 49
  • 50
  • 51
  • 52
  • 53
  • 54
  • 55
  • 56
  • 57
  • 58
  • 59
  • 60
  • 61
  • 62
  • 63
  • 64
  • 65
  • 66
  • 67
  • 68
  • 69
  • 70
  • 71
  • 72
  • 73
  • 74
  • 75
  • 76
  • 77
  • 78
  • 79
  • 80
  • 81
  • 82
  • 83
  • 84
  • 85
  • 86
  • 87
  • 88
  • 89
  • 90
  • 91
  • 92
  • 93
  • 94
  • 95
  • 96
  • 97
  • 98
  • 99
  • 100
  • 101
  • 102
  • 103
  • 104
  • 105
  • 106
  • 107
  • 108
  • 109

Buy Us A Cup of Coffee!

Make a donation and help us keep going so that we can keep creating tools to help you and others around the world!

Amount:
  • 1
  • Why your spiritual path has been hell +

    Around the world over the past three years, and for most of our lives, spiritual journeyers have been going through literal hell. Why does this matter and how does it Read More
  • Global Check In - 27 February 2018 +

    So if ever there was a day I was going to curl up and die and give up, yesterday was it. There’s some peace of mind that I wasn’t the Read More
  • Twin Flame Relationship Challenges +

    Around the world twin flame relationships are appearing and exploding – in a good way and bad. Often though, twin flame relationships are faced with major challenges right from the beginning Read More
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
  • 6
  • 7
  • 8
  • 9
  • 10
  • 11
  • 12
  • 13
  • 14
  • 15
  • 16
  • 17
  • 18
  • 19
  • 20
  • 21
  • 22
  • 23
  • 24
  • 25
  • 26
  • 27
  • 28
  • 29
  • 30
  • 31
  • 32
  • 33
  • 34
  • 35
  • 36
  • 37
  • 38
  • 39
  • 40
  • 41
  • 42
  • 43
  • 44
  • 45
  • 46
  • 47
  • 48
  • 49
  • 50
  • 51
  • 52
  • 53
  • 54
  • 55
  • 56
  • 57
  • 58
  • 59
  • Work with Chemory/Amara Christi +

    Teaching, mentoring, coaching, healing, readings, distance healings, clearings & entity removal, in person, at distance or remotely. Read More
  • Work with Angelica Gunko/Atana +

    A 17-year old teacher and healer geared at working with young adults & teens! Someone who speaks your language ;) Read More
  • Work with Michel/Lumara Christi +

    An Occupational Therapist, who works with others as a spiritual mentor, teacher, coach, and energy healer. She offers clearings, readings, healing, and coaching services. Read More
  • 1