Notes on Identifying Narcissists

Notes on Identifying Narcissists


The types of narcissist/psychopath

  1. The Con / Con Artist - verbally fluent, manipulative, read people well, tell a good story, entertaining, liars, creative liars
  2. The Bully - more crass, escalates after conning into dominance and force
  3. The Puppet Master - get other people to do their dirty work, manipulates people loyal to him/her


Don’t feel positive emotion the way we do

  • Total disregard for right and wrong
  • Create distress for others around them - emotional, mental, financial, sexual
  • “People whose mind knows what to do but they don’t do it” inuit - would make all wives pregnant while hunters out; shunned
  • Only feel negative stuff
  • Obsessive sexual drive - oxytocin release - hypersexuality; reduced need for sleep; high need for stimulation; low boredom threshold
  • Over sensitive to reward, under sensitive to empathy for others, suffering of others
  • Nature or nurture? It doesn’t matter… if society doesn’t allow it, it won’t develop
  • Risk takers
    • Ruthless in their single minded focus
  • Good looking, attractive - we are so focused on physical appearance
    • Well maintained and presented
    • Ask yourself - if this person was uglier or dressed badly would you be so attracted?
  • Gave him a link in through the TF telepathic bond
    • He could read me at distance - scary accurate
  • Narcissists in corporate and banking
    • Use of Hare psychopathy test for recruitment
  • Estimated 1-2% of male population is psychopaths - mostly males are psycho
    • Know right from wrong but don’t have empathy
    • They don’t feel emotion but act as if they do
    • Pathological liars who love to con and manipulate
  • Don’t think and feel the way we do - paradigm blindness both sides - cat and mouse
    • Victim does not see lack of empathy
    • Psychopath does not understand victim’s pain
  • All about reward and ego desires
    • Smooth fast talking rising star
    • Sings right tune and hits right notes
    • Will take credit for stuff
  • Projects aura of power and excitement
    • Obsessive when gets a woman in his sights
  • 180 turnaround - obsessive chase to you chasing him
    • Bait us with empathy - play the sympathy card: i can only talk to you, I need you, I’d be lost without you; I found God; I will make the leap
    • My past is so bad
  • Once you’ve committed the thrill is off hence 180 turnaround
    • “I made it too easy”
    • "I was too welcoming”
  • He could look you in the eye and lie and it wouldn’t even phase him
    • Disregarded my emotions and emotional needs - only his need for relationship mattered


Hare Checklist

  • glib and superficial charm
  • grandiose (exaggeratedly high) estimation of self
  • need for stimulation
  • pathological lying
  • cunning and manipulativeness
  • lack of remorse or guilt
  • shallow affect (superficial emotional responsiveness)
  • callousness and lack of empathy
  • parasitic lifestyle
  • poor behavioral controls
  • sexual promiscuity
  • early behavior problems
  • lack of realistic long-term goals
  • impulsivity
  • irresponsibility
  • failure to accept responsibility for own actions
  • many short-term marital relationships
  • juvenile delinquency
  • revocation of conditional release
  • criminal versatility


Questions for Narcissists

  1. Do you have "excess glibness" or superficial charm?
    Answer: For sociopaths, the answer to this question is yes.
  2. Do you have a grandiose sense of self-worth?
    Psychopaths do.
  3. Do you have an excess need for stimulation or proneness to boredom?
    Psychopaths can't endure periods of the doldrums.
  4. Are you a pathological liar?
    Psychopaths don't care about the truth.
  5. Are you conning or manipulative?
    Psychopaths often believe they can pull the strings of the dupes around them.
  6. Do you display a lack of remorse or guilt?
    Psychopaths don't feel bad when they do bad things.
  7. Do you have "shallow affect"?
    Psychopaths show a lack of emotions when an emotional reaction is appropriate.
  8. Are you callous, or do you lack empathy?
    Psychopaths just don't care when bad things happen to other people.
  9. Do you have a "parasitic lifestyle"?
    Psychopaths prefer not to work for a living. They feel it is easier to take stuff from other people.
  10. Do you have poor behavioral controls?
    Psychopaths find it difficult to keep themselves in check.
  11. Do you have a history of promiscuous sexual behavior?
    Psychopaths like one-night stands.
  12. Do you have a history of early behavioral problems?
    As children, psychopaths often have a history of cruelty to others.
  13. Do you lack realistic long-term goals?
    Psychopaths prefer crazy schemes over life or career goals.
  14. Are you overly impulsive?
    Psychopaths are very, very impulsive.
  15. Do you have a high level of irresponsibility?
    Psychopaths aren't big on doing the right thing.
  16. Do you fail to accept responsibility for your own actions?
    When you're a psycho, it's always someone else's fault.
  17. Have you had many short-term "marital" relationships?
    Psychopaths have an inability to commit to, or repeatedly betray, long-term relationships.
  18. Do you have a history of juvenile delinquency?
    Psychopaths start young.
  19. Have you ever experienced a "revocation of conditional release"?
    Even when psychopaths catch a break — like being let out of prison on probation — they tend to screw up.
  20. Do you display "criminal versatility"?
    Psychopaths differ from normal criminals because they don't really care which type of laws they break — they'll break any of them, under the right circumstances.


Statements to identify narcissists

  1. I never never get tongue-tied.
  2. In important ways, I am superior to most people.
  3. I am prone to boredom.
  4. I lie to make things go smoother.
  5. I cheat people out of things.
  6. I rarely feel guilty.
  7. I am an emotional person.
  8. I rarely connect emotionally with others.
  9. I often get others to pay for things for me.
  10. I am impatient.
  11. I am promiscuous.
  12. I was a problem child.
  13. I have difficulty staying committed to long term goals.
  14. I am impulsive.
  15. I frequently perform sloppy work.
  16. I try to evade responsibility.
  17. My romantic relationships usually fall apart quickly.
  18. I committed some crimes as a juvenile.
  19. I have violated a probation order.
  20. I have committed many types of crimes.
  21. I am neither shy nor self-conscious; I speak with authority.
  22. I am exceptional.
  23. I need to take risks to feel alive.
  24. I am basically not an honest person.
  25. I don't feel bad when I trick people.
  26. If someone deserves it, I don't feel too bad.
  27. I think strong emotions are for the weak.
  28. I think if people get offended, that is their problem.
  29. I have never taken care of myself.
  30. I act hastily.
  31. I think sex should not be taken lightly.
  32. I was often in trouble at school.
  33. I lack direction in my life.
  34. I never give in to temptation.
  35. I never keep my word.
  36. My problems are mostly the fault of others.
  37. I don't like to commit in relationships.
  38. I was a bully in high school.
  39. I have been held in contempt of court.
  40. I am proud of getting away with crimes.

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