Notes on Identifying Narcissists
The types of narcissist/psychopath
- The Con / Con Artist - verbally fluent, manipulative, read people well, tell a good story, entertaining, liars, creative liars
- The Bully - more crass, escalates after conning into dominance and force
- The Puppet Master - get other people to do their dirty work, manipulates people loyal to him/her
Don’t feel positive emotion the way we do
- Total disregard for right and wrong
- Create distress for others around them - emotional, mental, financial, sexual
- “People whose mind knows what to do but they don’t do it” inuit - would make all wives pregnant while hunters out; shunned
- Only feel negative stuff
- Obsessive sexual drive - oxytocin release - hypersexuality; reduced need for sleep; high need for stimulation; low boredom threshold
- Over sensitive to reward, under sensitive to empathy for others, suffering of others
- Nature or nurture? It doesn’t matter… if society doesn’t allow it, it won’t develop
- Risk takers
- Ruthless in their single minded focus
- Good looking, attractive - we are so focused on physical appearance
- Well maintained and presented
- Ask yourself - if this person was uglier or dressed badly would you be so attracted?
- Gave him a link in through the TF telepathic bond
- He could read me at distance - scary accurate
- Narcissists in corporate and banking
- Use of Hare psychopathy test for recruitment
- Estimated 1-2% of male population is psychopaths - mostly males are psycho
- Know right from wrong but don’t have empathy
- They don’t feel emotion but act as if they do
- Pathological liars who love to con and manipulate
- Don’t think and feel the way we do - paradigm blindness both sides - cat and mouse
- Victim does not see lack of empathy
- Psychopath does not understand victim’s pain
- All about reward and ego desires
- Smooth fast talking rising star
- Sings right tune and hits right notes
- Will take credit for stuff
- Projects aura of power and excitement
- Obsessive when gets a woman in his sights
- 180 turnaround - obsessive chase to you chasing him
- Bait us with empathy - play the sympathy card: i can only talk to you, I need you, I’d be lost without you; I found God; I will make the leap
- My past is so bad
- Once you’ve committed the thrill is off hence 180 turnaround
- “I made it too easy”
- "I was too welcoming”
- He could look you in the eye and lie and it wouldn’t even phase him
- Disregarded my emotions and emotional needs - only his need for relationship mattered
- glib and superficial charm
- grandiose (exaggeratedly high) estimation of self
- need for stimulation
- pathological lying
- cunning and manipulativeness
- lack of remorse or guilt
- shallow affect (superficial emotional responsiveness)
- callousness and lack of empathy
- parasitic lifestyle
- poor behavioral controls
- sexual promiscuity
- early behavior problems
- lack of realistic long-term goals
- failure to accept responsibility for own actions
- many short-term marital relationships
- juvenile delinquency
- revocation of conditional release
- criminal versatility
Questions for Narcissists
- Do you have "excess glibness" or superficial charm?
Answer: For sociopaths, the answer to this question is yes.
- Do you have a grandiose sense of self-worth?
- Do you have an excess need for stimulation or proneness to boredom?
Psychopaths can't endure periods of the doldrums.
- Are you a pathological liar?
Psychopaths don't care about the truth.
- Are you conning or manipulative?
Psychopaths often believe they can pull the strings of the dupes around them.
- Do you display a lack of remorse or guilt?
Psychopaths don't feel bad when they do bad things.
- Do you have "shallow affect"?
Psychopaths show a lack of emotions when an emotional reaction is appropriate.
- Are you callous, or do you lack empathy?
Psychopaths just don't care when bad things happen to other people.
- Do you have a "parasitic lifestyle"?
Psychopaths prefer not to work for a living. They feel it is easier to take stuff from other people.
- Do you have poor behavioral controls?
Psychopaths find it difficult to keep themselves in check.
- Do you have a history of promiscuous sexual behavior?
Psychopaths like one-night stands.
- Do you have a history of early behavioral problems?
As children, psychopaths often have a history of cruelty to others.
- Do you lack realistic long-term goals?
Psychopaths prefer crazy schemes over life or career goals.
- Are you overly impulsive?
Psychopaths are very, very impulsive.
- Do you have a high level of irresponsibility?
Psychopaths aren't big on doing the right thing.
- Do you fail to accept responsibility for your own actions?
When you're a psycho, it's always someone else's fault.
- Have you had many short-term "marital" relationships?
Psychopaths have an inability to commit to, or repeatedly betray, long-term relationships.
- Do you have a history of juvenile delinquency?
Psychopaths start young.
- Have you ever experienced a "revocation of conditional release"?
Even when psychopaths catch a break — like being let out of prison on probation — they tend to screw up.
- Do you display "criminal versatility"?
Psychopaths differ from normal criminals because they don't really care which type of laws they break — they'll break any of them, under the right circumstances.
Statements to identify narcissists
- I never never get tongue-tied.
- In important ways, I am superior to most people.
- I am prone to boredom.
- I lie to make things go smoother.
- I cheat people out of things.
- I rarely feel guilty.
- I am an emotional person.
- I rarely connect emotionally with others.
- I often get others to pay for things for me.
- I am impatient.
- I am promiscuous.
- I was a problem child.
- I have difficulty staying committed to long term goals.
- I am impulsive.
- I frequently perform sloppy work.
- I try to evade responsibility.
- My romantic relationships usually fall apart quickly.
- I committed some crimes as a juvenile.
- I have violated a probation order.
- I have committed many types of crimes.
- I am neither shy nor self-conscious; I speak with authority.
- I am exceptional.
- I need to take risks to feel alive.
- I am basically not an honest person.
- I don't feel bad when I trick people.
- If someone deserves it, I don't feel too bad.
- I think strong emotions are for the weak.
- I think if people get offended, that is their problem.
- I have never taken care of myself.
- I act hastily.
- I think sex should not be taken lightly.
- I was often in trouble at school.
- I lack direction in my life.
- I never give in to temptation.
- I never keep my word.
- My problems are mostly the fault of others.
- I don't like to commit in relationships.
- I was a bully in high school.
- I have been held in contempt of court.
- I am proud of getting away with crimes.