3D vs 5D reality question
"How will my spiritual growth & knowledge affect my relationship with my spouse and children?
I've already seen both negative and positive shifts; however I can't help wondering if as I grow more, that my inclination will be to separate myself from them - which I don't want to happen."
So this isn’t just about immediate relationships, but every relationship that is around you.
And the short answer is yes - the growth will impact your journey A LOT, and not in ways that you necessarily expect.
Seeing with new eyes
The first thing you have to know about evolution on the journey is: ‘It’s not about seeing a new landscape - it’s about seeing the same landscape with new eyes.”
We speak a lot about patterns and shifts and integration and operating from a new resonance, but have you considered what that really means?
Over the past few months, we’ve had a massive shift in the Twin Flame energy, for example, a shift that has seen many of us move along the scale towards the resonance of “complete alone”.
So operating from the old belief of “I need a relationship” means that you will always put the relationship ahead of your individual needs, because the relationship’s security is your main priority.
However switching to “I am complete alone” means that your overwhelming fear of losing the relationship is replaced by the faith and trust that you are strong enough to face things on your own.
So now, when your partner does the passive aggressive threat of “well maybe we should end this then”, you’re more likely to lose the plot and say yes to the suggestion.
Where before, the threat would have caused you to change tack and back down, now the fear of staying becomes greater than the fear of leaving. So the stability of the relationship will change in that case.
But these changes are both big and small.
You can spot the big ones easily… for example, finding out a partner has been cheating will reframe all your memories of the relationship in the past, allowing you to see it in a completely different light.
For me, this meant that overnight I went from describing my relationship as a “miracle love”, to “four years of lies”. My partner went from the love of my life to the man who cheated me - a con artist and fraud.
So yes the big changes in belief systems - even if it’s a single insight - can have massive and visible impact.
The ones that are really going to screw you up royally are the little insights…. *runs off to fetch old journal*
I’m going to use the old journal to find a few small and seemingly insignificant statements, and then illustrate the impact.
I am jealous of my twin flame's wife - this realization caused me to realize that missing him post the break up was actually about feeling jealous, and not actually missing him. I almost completely stopped missing him after this thought. Had he come back a day before that insight, I would have reconciled. The day of that insight I knew I was happier without him.
Nobody ever wants me and I am never good enough - at first, these beliefs were causing me to consider if I should give up my work, but the addition of a few additional insights - this is the ego battle and everyone is experiencing this and we are being censored and limited in our reach - caused me to understand better the limitations I am facing.
I want a relationship but I don’t believe it’s possible to find one - this belief caused me to feel sad at first, upset about the state of people. With a few weeks of integration though, I came to realize it was a lesson in understanding how ego mitigation has changed me, and how much of my desire for a love bond was driven by ego. Eventually I have come to realize that I have progressed too far to have a normal romantic relationship.
None of these statements were huge, or massive cosmic insights by any means, but they all had a significant impact on my life.
And this is going to happen to you as well…. and when you’re shifting up to 60 statements a day, you can expect that change to happen in huge ways and incredibly quickly.
As you shift each of these items, it’s not only you that starts seeing stuff differently… the people around you view you differently as well.
When you meet people, that chemistry or in love feeling, is caused by the mirror energies recognizing each other. The feeling of "in love" is pure mirrors in other words.
Think about the thing people most often say about their partner when they complain… "he/she has changed so much".
So you meet with a certain set of mirrors, and the interaction of those mirrors creates a feeling of connection and bonding.
As you drop a mirror energy, there is no longer a place for your partner’s mirror energy to hook into and feel comfortable - so every mirror you drop will also create more discomfort in your relationship.
To be honest, with where I am now in development, and how far I’ve gone with mirrors, I don’t know how we have ever thought that a lifetime relationship between people was possible - let alone a person you choose in your 20s.
The only way to achieve that kind of lifetime bond is to not change at all, or hardly change at all.
Every insight, statement, lesson, realization you have is not only a mirror, it’s a group of mirrors - this is how duality lessons work, in groups of info and statements.
When you are shifting that much, it is going to throw the relationships around you into chaos, because people have related and connected to your mirror energies. When that energy drops, you have nothing left they want, nothing left to relate to.
This is also why higher level souls can no longer really fall in love - we don’t have enough mirrors left to trigger the feeling of in love. It’s also why we fall so hard when we do fall in love :)
Relationships of Obligation
At a point you are going to have a horrible reality check as well - you’re going to realize that all your relationships are relationships of obligation.
So the first way to identify a special relationship of obligation is to determine if the relationship has a label that defines the relationship’s context - e.g. saying “my son” means that you are a mother, while saying "my cousin” denotes an expectation of close friendship and familial ties.
Husband, wife, daughter, son, cousin, aunt, uncle, BFF, bae, best friend, mate, colleague… all these labels denote certain expectations of the relationship.
My parents treated my siblings better than me - this is an expectation of how parents should behave fairly.
My partner cheated - again an expectation of behavior because of the label attached to the relationship.
My best friend should be my person - I expect to be treated in a certain way by this person because I gave them a label.
However at a point, when enough mirror energies drop, you will realize that most of the people around you are people that were chosen for you - and are identified by labels.
The litmus test for this situation? Do you need a REASON to contact the person?
Most of the relationships in your life create reasons to be in touch - you cannot truly measure a relationship until you take away the reasons and are only returning by free will choice.
Mirrors is just one of your REASONS, yes.
Think about how often you say: the reason I’m calling is…. Why I’m calling you…. While I have you on the phone…
It’s Christmas - what are we doing this year? Have you invited those cousins we haven’t seen for two decades to your wedding? Who needs to go on the guest list for a family event?
All of these are the REASONS you stay in touch - and these people have expectations of you just as you have expectations of them.
But a lot of those expectations are driven by mirrors, obligation and labels.
And you think you don’t have any? Okay….
- A wife should….
- A wife should NOT….
- A husband should…
- A husband should NOT….
- A child should…
- A child should NOT…
If you have even one thought at the end of that should or should not, that’s an expectation. And you will find expectations of everyone in your life if you are honest.
Expectations really become dangerous when you take them to the level of what society and ego believe that “love” is…
"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” 1 Corinthians 13:4-7
Love means you don’t offend me, because if you hurt my ego in the moment, it must mean that you always hurt me. So I expect you treat me the way I want to be treated - otherwise you don’t really love me.
Love means that you put my personal happiness first - and people live in instant gratification, so they want that happiness immediately.
This is going to mess you up in communication and conversation.
On the first level, this is going to happen because you are going to come to a place where honesty trumps everything else for you now.
So all of a sudden you become a person who does the right thing by offending others around you, because you’re prioritizing honesty over offending the person’s ego.
And you’re going to want honesty in return - and you will be able to spot when people aren’t being honest with you, and you will feel compelled to say something.
All this serves a purpose - if you are growing WITH someone around you.
Over time, when utilized by all parties in the relationship, this becomes a mechanism to support your ongoing growth - you talk to each other and shifting becomes your small talk. It becomes ingrained.
But yes it takes honesty when I have to say my daughter “being around this person makes you an ugly person to be around - and you allow yourself to become stupider.”
And we have conversations like that - and she doesn’t get offended.
Neither do I when she points out something in me, like: “but when you think those thoughts, you’re allowing your ego to rule you and directly disobeying God’s commands.”
At this stage of the fight if you walked in and said anything that brutal to most people, you’d just be dealing with how offended the person is, for example “How do you know?"… but when everyone buys into it, you shift at the rate of knots.
So instead of getting offended, we’ll say “shit, that hurts to accept” - and then we’ll work on it together. Or the person that pointed it out will ask: “do you need help? can you manage this alone?”
So yes, you are right to be speaking more honestly and clearly, and you are right to prioritize this over offense - because offense is pure mirrors and ego.
But the people who aren’t on the same growth path as you ARE going to get offended - because they see your honesty and sharing as insulting them, because you point out their perceived flaws all the time.
And to point out a flaw means that you are saying that there is something wrong with the person. You are not allowed to communicate that you think that anyone else is less than perfect, less than special and less than equal.
And stuff like this is going to start driving you insane… and we’ve only started scratching on the ways you are going to change and how it’s going to impact the relationships around you.
And this is still the low level stuff… wait til you get to instructions from Source, or you get prophecies or visions, or you get told to push boundaries and start breaking the 3D world… or wait until the money and Christ Consciousness stuff hits you…
Christ Consciousness is hard, because so many of us accepted Source and Universe and the metaphysical scientific stuff - but NOT God.
So you may have been Wiccan, or only into metaphysics, or an atheist in that you don’t believe in a higher being, even if you do believe in a higher power, and suddenly you’re spouting bible verses and ACIM and Torah.
And the Christ Consciousness is a quick evolution in everyone - it literally shifts in about a week when you get to it.
When someone who married an atheist is suddenly married to a bible basher (in their view), it can cause a rupture in the relationship quickly.
“You’ve changed!” Remember that?
These are just the lower levels of impact
Your relationships and bonds and chemistry are going to change - you cannot limit the change or force it in a direction.
And keep this in mind… your evolution will evolve past “God is ALL LOVING” if you go into your dark night of the soul.
So your understanding of what love is, what a relationship is, what you need from people and to give people, will overhaul dramatically beyond the 600 barrier on the human consciousness scale ( http://lifecoachestoolbox.com/index.php/the-human-consciousness-scale ).
A dark night of the soul is designed to overhaul you completely in order that you are born completely anew. And you will be. Everything will change.
You cannot imagine the change that is coming, and it will manifest in your relationships because those are the easiest places to reach you with lessons.
You will want to let people go, you will be abandoned and rejected by others completely too. You have to accept this as part of the process and not become downhearted.
A Lesson of Attachment
This is a lesson of attachment - and you will be asked to sacrifice everything eventually.
You HAVE TO let go of ALL attachments - even to people.
You cannot see the value of this yet, but if you try to stop it, then you will delay your journey on all levels. And you will never be happy if you go back to the old way of living.
There's No Exit
Once you have committed past a certain point, you can’t stop this journey - because of yourself.
You can’t go back to living the lie, you just can’t tolerate it. Also you will be hungry for more - hungry for God. You are already starting to realize that God is all you actually want or need.
You won’t want to get off - and you have to give up the attachments to everything that could hold you back potentially.
My daughter and I have already discussed both of our deaths in detail for example. If only one of us dies, who do we save? Do you want extraordinary measures? Are you ready for death? Have you lived enough?
She is the closest attachment I have - and I have no attachment to her. And she has none to me. But we both have deep respect, loyalty and love, with brutal honesty.
And it’s such a fucking relief every day to be able to talk to her. No lies there at all.
And when you reach that, you will be experiencing a real relationship for the first time. And you’ll know why you did this - and it’s so worth fighting for.
This is going to change everything - and you will be glad it did.
But until you get there, and understand what it’s for, it’s going to be painful and look like “hell” according to human and 3D “reality”.
This is a journey of faith - and there is no greater way you can show your faith than to stay true to God, even when you face nothing but challenges.
It’s EASY to be faithful when you’re getting personal miracles (manifestation and Law of Attraction) that appease your ego and make you personally happy every single day.
It’s hard to be faithful and to believe in God when your whole life is filled with challenges - and this is the test of faith.
You want to pass this, believe me. All the magic that you have believed this spiritual journey can be, lies on the other side of that barrier.
And all the tools you need to get there, and to navigate once you are there, are tools that you will create and discover for yourself as you solve the challenges you face during these life trials.
Accept that you will lose relationships, and master the lesson of non-attachment as quickly as possible.
The downside is that people will find you aloof and detached - the upside is that it makes the ego death layers about a million times easier to navigate.