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Life Coaches Toolbox by Chemory Gunko

Ask For or Extend Forgiveness

💠 OVERVIEW OF THE PROCESSES OF FORGIVENESS 💠

Here you will find overviews of the processes to Ask For & Extend Forgiveness.

On this page you'll find instructions, and understanding and places to answer the questions if you'd like to use the digital version.

  Ask For or Extend Forgiveness

When done properly, the processes of asking for forgiveness, or offering absolution, are incredibly healing.

On this page you will find an overview of each process, as well as space to jot down any answers.

You don't really need to hang onto the answers for this process - the answers are much more about you sorting out your mind.

When you take the time to type them out, however, you have to verbalize your answers more carefully.

The process of verbalizing therefore serves to give you a deeper level of shift, as well as reinforce the learning exponentially.

Simply put - if you type your answers out when you look at these questions, you'll shift faster and it will stick better.

If you do type your answers out, make sure that you gloss over each section once in it's entirety. As you finish each section, or once at the end is fine.

When you do this, you give your mind a better chance of seeing the big picture, and the patterns at play.

You can already answer the questions one at a time, because you are holding those bits and pieces of info easily.

Often what you lack is the ability to see the bigger picture at play.

Putting all those bits and pieces of information next to each other is the difference between seeing the colored dots that make up the picture, each as an individual dot; or zooming out and seeing the whole picture in it's entirety.

We usually know the facts, and what the pieces of the puzzle look like.

Putting that puzzle together is often as simple as just putting the pieces next to each other and looking at them in one go.

  Ask For Forgiveness Process

What are the steps you need to follow when you want to ask someone for forgiveness?

  Unpack, analyze & understand your actions


What happened in this situation?

Did I make a mistake?

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What mistake did I make?

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Did I lie, cheat, betray or in any other way wrong or withhold from someone somehow?

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Did I dismiss or belittle someone, their wishes, feelings and ideas?

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Did I take credit for something that was not my due?

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Did I act boastfully or brag, exaggerate and lie?

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Why did I do this?

Was this an impulsive act - something that happened in the moment?

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Was this premeditated?

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What was my intention?

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Did I want to hurt somebody?

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Did I want to punish myself or create drama in my life?

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How long has this been going on?

Is this the first time this has happened?

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Has it happened before?

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Is there something that triggers this behavior in me?

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Is there an activity I engage in that causes these situations?

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Is there some long term pattern of repeated behavior at play here?

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Is this an Upper Limit behavior for me?

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What truth am I not facing?

Is there something I'm scared of losing or facing?

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Is there someone I'm afraid of?

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Have I crossed my own internal boundaries, ie. betrayed myself?

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Have I betrayed someone else?

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Is the guilt causing me to punish myself or others?

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Is this really the person I am?

Am I better than this behavior?

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Is this how I want to be known?

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Does this fit with the picture of who I want to be?

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Do I feel comfortable in my own skin?

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Is my ego getting in the way somehow?

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Who do I need to apologize to or make amends with?

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  Act on Your Understanding

Get forgiveness & make amends.


I admit my mistake in it's entirety.

I acknowledge that I have done something wrong and need to take action to make up for it.

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I acknowledge the need to sincerely apologize to those I have wronged for what I have done.

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I apologize to those I have wronged and to those peripherally involved.

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I acknowledge my mistake in its entirety, taking full responsibility for my actions and offering to make amends.

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I forgive myself and ask my Higher Power for forgiveness.

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I seek out any assistance I may need in order to apologize, make amends or achieve forgiveness as the victim, perpetrator or bystander.

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I make amends for what I have done wrong.

I carry out any actions agreed upon in my apology to any affected parties.

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I make amends at the societal level where necessary.

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I carry out any acts of repentance required by my faith.

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I examine my behavior and patterns and make any changes that are required.

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I seek out any help I require to make changes in my life.

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I resolve never to behave like this in future.

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I forgive myself and live a better life in future.

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  Extend Forgiveness Process

What are the basic steps you should follow when you want to extend forgiveness to someone?

  Unpack, analyze & understand your actions


What happened in this situation?

Did someone wrong me somehow?

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Was I lied to, cheated, betrayed or in any other way wronged, or was something withheld from me?

Click & type here to answer.

Did someone dismiss or belittle me, my wishes, feelings and ideas?

Click & type here to answer.

Did someone take credit for something that was my due?

Click & type here to answer.

Did they speak badly of me or lie about me?

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Did any of this cause me harm somehow?

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Why do I feel so strongly about this?

Was this premeditated?

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What was their intention?

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Did they want to hurt somebody?

Click & type here to answer.

Did they want to punish someone else or themselves or create drama?

Click & type here to answer.

Is this a repeated behavior?

Click & type here to answer.

Does this remind me of something else?

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What truth am I not facing?

Is there something I'm scared of losing or facing?

Click & type here to answer.

Have I crossed my own internal boundaries, ie. betrayed myself?

Click & type here to answer.

Am I jealous or envious of someone?

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Does this relate to an incident that happened prior to this?

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Am I using my lack of forgiveness to protect me from something?

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Am I using my lack of forgiveness to limit myself somehow?

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What does my lack of forgiveness give me?

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Am I looking for a reason to be angry with this person?

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Do I want to hold onto my anger?

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Does being angry at this person somehow validate an idea or feeling that I have?

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Am I really willing to hold lack of forgiveness against this person if I hold it against myself as well?

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Is this really the person I am?

Am I better than this behavior?

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Do I want to hold a grudge?

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Do I want to be bitter or angry?

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Is this how I want to be known?

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Does this fit with the picture of who I want to be?

Click & type here to answer.

Do I feel comfortable in my own skin?

Click & type here to answer.

Is my ego getting in the way somehow?

Click & type here to answer.

Who do I need to extend forgiveness to?

Click & type here to answer.


  Act on Your Understanding

Give forgiveness & achieve inner peace.


I decide how I want to approach the forgiveness exercises - on my own or in person.

I choose to speak directly to the person, carry out an exercise or write a letter.

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I acknowledge the mistake and how I believe I was wronged in its entirety, free of judgement and without anger.

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I extend my forgiveness by really meaning it and saying the words in my head or out loud.

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I really intend to forgive and release this.

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I extend forgiveness to everyone I believe was peripherally involved this situation.

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I ask forgiveness of everyone involved in the situation for any wrongs I may have caused them.

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I forgive and release everyone involved.

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I tell everyone I love them.

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I choose to forgive myself.

I realize that a lack of forgiveness against others is merely held against myself and intend to release the situation and person.

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I practice forgiveness exercises as often as I think about the event.

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I ask that peace and forgiveness are chosen for me as often as I think about the situation.

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I allow myself time to process the emotions and acknowledge that this is just the ups and downs of processing.

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I anticipate and enjoy the moment of forgiveness and release.

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  Get Help

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So, you might suddenly realize you want to go even further, and probably faster, or you've hit a major stumbling block that you need help clearing, or you are in shifting overload and experiencing physical, emotional and mental symptoms you need help with. That's what this section is for!

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