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Life Coaches Toolbox by Chemory Gunko

Rebuild Trust Statement Generator

💠 WHAT DO YOU NEED TO TRUST SOMEONE AGAIN? 💠

This tool will help the wronged party express what they need, in order to rebuild trust again.

  Rebuild Trust Statement Generator

When it comes to building trust after it's been broken, we often don't know where to start.

Once you've completed this tool, you will have achieved two aims.

First, you will have reminded yourself why you trusted the person on the first place. Secondly, you will have an idea of what it will take for your sense of security to be restored.

In order to mitigate the discomfort you may feel when you are sharing this, you may create a rule that the recipient can only respond by saying 'thank you', 'I know' or 'I will' until such time as you have finished sharing.

Instructions for the Rebuilding Trust Statement Generator


Instructions for the Rebuilding Trust Statement Generator

The Rebuilding Trust Statement Generator works kind of like a backwards form... but instead of picking which statements or concepts you agree with, you're going to dismiss the statements and concepts you disagree with.

Why do we do this process backwards like this?

We learn wisdom from failure much more than from success.
We often discover what will do, by finding out what will not do.
And probably... he who never made a mistake, never made a discovery.
Samuel Smiles (1812 - 1904)

The truth is that most people don't know how they feel, what they want, or where they stand on most issues.

BUT (big but!)... people DO know what they disagree with; in other words they know "what will not do".

For the most part, people are usually sure about what they don't like, what they don't want, and what they disagree with.

So, we've used this natural mental default to make this entire process easier for you.

Simply read through the statements listed below, one by one, and dismiss the statement if you disagree with it.

Let me say this carefully again... your task is to REMOVE the statements you disagree with - and ignore the statements that you don't disagree with. It's a process of elimination in other words.

Don't worry about how much you agree with the statement, or not; focus ONLY on removing the statements that you immediately disagree with.

At the end, what you're left with will be the balance of the statements, and this will be used to generate a crafted statement for you.


How to use the Rebuilding Trust Statement Generator fields

Follow the instructions in the example fields below to learn how to use the Rebuilding Trust Statement Generator.

Remember that there are no right or wrong answers - just the information that you need to process.

You really can't get this wrong.

The questions will follow this format.

🗑 This is an example field. Click on the trashcan at the right of this block & watch me disappear.
🗑 This is another example field. Click on this wording & test the typing feature.
Any typing edits you make will be saved for you. This way, you are free to edit any of the statements to perfectly suit your individual situation.
🗑 Using conjunction words, like and, when & because, will you let you expand any statement, e.g. I am truly sorry I let you down and... or, I disappointed you because... or I let you down when...



Questions for the Rebuilding Trust Statement Generator


Read through the list of statements, and impulsively dismiss any of the statements that you disagree with.

The trick here is to move quickly and really be impulsive, so that you get a really honest read of where you stand. If you stop to ponder each point, your belief systems, and ideas about how things "should" be, will get in the way. So don't question why you want to dismiss the statement - just go with your gut feel.

You can also click on any statement & type to edit it.

Why don't you trust this person?

🗑 My faith in you is shaken.
🗑 My faith in you is shattered.
🗑 You did not live up to my expectations.
🗑 You disappointed me.
🗑 You broke my trust.
🗑 You gave me reason to doubt you.
🗑 You threatened my sense of security.
🗑 You threatened the safety of our relationship.
🗑 You make me question whether I can trust your confidence.
🗑 You make me question if I can trust you.
🗑 You have changed the dynamic of our relationship with your actions.
🗑 You have changed the way I view you.

Read through the list of statements, and impulsively dismiss any of the statements that you disagree with.

The trick here is to move quickly and really be impulsive, so that you get a really honest read of where you stand. If you stop to ponder each point, your belief systems, and ideas about how things "should" be, will get in the way. So don't question why you want to dismiss the statement - just go with your gut feel.

You can also click on any statement & type to edit it.

What feelings have you felt through all of this?

🗑 I feel judged.
🗑 I feel less important than I should.
🗑 I feel worthless.
🗑 I am angry.
🗑 I am scared.
🗑 I doubt myself.
🗑 I doubt our relationship.
🗑 I feel resistance towards, and hesitation around you.
🗑 You caused me embarrassment.
🗑 I felt ashamed.
🗑 I was humiliated.
🗑 I felt very insecure.
🗑 I question the security of our relationship.
🗑 I felt vulnerable.
🗑 I felt guilty for no reason.
🗑 I felt a lot of frustration.
🗑 I feel trapped or stuck.
🗑 I am jealous.
🗑 I am envious.
🗑 I feel like you are always competing with me.
🗑 I feel like you put me up on a pedestal.
🗑 I feel like you constantly try to knock me down, or belittle me.

Read through the list of statements, and impulsively dismiss any of the statements that you disagree with.

The trick here is to move quickly and really be impulsive, so that you get a really honest read of where you stand. If you stop to ponder each point, your belief systems, and ideas about how things "should" be, will get in the way. So don't question why you want to dismiss the statement - just go with your gut feel.

You can also click on any statement & type to edit it.

Why did you trust this person previously?

🗑 I have a long history with you.
🗑 I know this is only a stage you're going through.
🗑 You have proven yourself trustworthy in the past.
🗑 I am usually able to rely on you.
🗑 You have kept my secrets in the past.
🗑 We've shared more good times than bad.

Read through the list of statements, and impulsively dismiss any of the statements that you disagree with.

The trick here is to move quickly and really be impulsive, so that you get a really honest read of where you stand. If you stop to ponder each point, your belief systems, and ideas about how things "should" be, will get in the way. So don't question why you want to dismiss the statement - just go with your gut feel.

You can also click on any statement & type to edit it.

Think back on a positive experience or time you've shared with this person.

🗑 What is a special memory you shared with this person?
🗑 Can you recall a time when you trusted this person?
🗑 Can you recall a time when you felt safe with this person?
🗑 Give three reasons why you trusted this person in the past?

Read through the list of statements, and impulsively dismiss any of the statements that you disagree with.

The trick here is to move quickly and really be impulsive, so that you get a really honest read of where you stand. If you stop to ponder each point, your belief systems, and ideas about how things "should" be, will get in the way. So don't question why you want to dismiss the statement - just go with your gut feel.

You can also click on any statement & type to edit it.

Why do you want to trust this person again?

🗑 There is a valid reason why I should forgive you.
🗑 I really want to forgive this, and you.
🗑 I am invested in ensuring our relationship continues.
🗑 Name one more reason why you want to trust this person again. It doesn't matter how small or insignificant that reason seems.

Read through the list of statements, and impulsively dismiss any of the statements that you disagree with.

The trick here is to move quickly and really be impulsive, so that you get a really honest read of where you stand. If you stop to ponder each point, your belief systems, and ideas about how things "should" be, will get in the way. So don't question why you want to dismiss the statement - just go with your gut feel.

You can also click on any statement & type to edit it.

What do you want from this person?

🗑 We need to talk about this regularly and on an ongoing basis.
🗑 Please answer all my questions in detail.
🗑 Please do not omit any facts you think will hurt me.
🗑 Please check in with me if you see that I am upset or avoiding saying something.
🗑 Please take me seriously if I point out that you are upset or avoiding saying something.
🗑 Please maintain a level voice tone when we discuss this.
🗑 Please refrain from becoming overly emotional.
🗑 Please hear me when I point out an attacking behavior; without becoming defensive.
🗑 Please be open about your mistakes.
🗑 Please don't keep any facts from me.
🗑 Please answer my questions for as long as I need to ask them.
🗑 Please be gentle with me when we speak about this.
🗑 Please do not lay blame at my feet until we have discussed that.
🗑 Please do not try and make me feel guilty.
🗑 Please honor your commitments to me.
🗑 Please honor your promises to me.
🗑 Please take my fears and anxiety seriously, within reason.
🗑 Please remind me that I am important to you and that I matter to you.
🗑 Please be available, checking and answering your phone and messages frequently.
🗑 Please let me know when you will be out contact.
🗑 Please make time to reassure me that you love me every day.
🗑 I would like us to implement a NO EXIT policy - neither of us may end the relationship, for any reason, including suicide, being too busy, or ignoring each other, for the next three months.

For Intimacy & Couples

🗑 Please give me access to all your communications devices.
🗑 Please reinforce your presence with physical touch.
🗑 Please steer clear of sex.
🗑 Please initiate sex.

Read through the list of statements, and impulsively dismiss any of the statements that you disagree with.

The trick here is to move quickly and really be impulsive, so that you get a really honest read of where you stand. If you stop to ponder each point, your belief systems, and ideas about how things "should" be, will get in the way. So don't question why you want to dismiss the statement - just go with your gut feel.

You can also click on any statement & type to edit it.

In return, I offer you the following commitments.

🗑 I will hear what you have to say.
🗑 I will ask you my questions.
🗑 I will tell you when we are near the boundary of too much information.
🗑 I will take time before making a decision.
🗑 I will touch base with you within 48 hours of any previous contact.
🗑 I will not abandon you.
🗑 If I choose to end our relationship, I will inform you in person.
🗑 I hear your apology and I am grateful for it.
🗑 I am open to forgiving you.
🗑 I value your honesty.
🗑 I am open to rebuilding our trust.
🗑 Your opinion matters to me.
🗑 You matter to me.
🗑 I am open to finding a resolution and a way forward.
🗑 I value your presence in my life.
🗑 I love you.
🗑 I will forgive you.
🗑 I have forgiven you.

Edit, Refine & Finalize Your Rebuilding Trust Statement


Edit, Refine & Finalize Your Rebuilding Trust Statement

Now that you've worked through the various areas of focus, click the button below to GENERATE YOUR REBUILDING TRUST STATEMENT.

The Rebuilding Trust Statement will then appear below the buttons, and you'll have another chance to refine & edit your Rebuilding Trust Statement. Simply click anywhere to type additional points, or use the trash icon to delete that statement.

When you're finished your edits, hit MAKE PDF to save the statement to PDF. The PDF view that is generated will also be editable.

If your device doesn't support PDFs, or you'd like to save the content elsewhere, then use the COPY TO CLIPBOARD button and the content will be copied for you.

Use the buttons below to generate your Rebuilding Trust Statement.

🎨 GENERATE YOUR REBUILDING TRUST STATEMENT

🎠 MAKE PDF - ONLINE OR DESKTOP

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