Life Coaches Toolbox by Chemory Gunko

What Are You Sacrificing?


This set of tools will help you work through, and release, the future you had planned with this person.

  What Are You Sacrificing?

The hardest part of any relationship to let go of, is the stuff that happens inside your head.

Even if the relationship is live in and fulltime, a vast majority of it still takes place inside your mind, between you and your inner voice.

You know those conversations you have with people in your head? That's it exactly.)

During these moments inside your mind, is where you hatch all your future plans, goals, dreams, desires, hopes & aspirations about this person.

You see this happening at high speed when people start talking about getting married after a first date - and often these dreams are disappointed.

This happens because we 'assign' these dreams and hopes to this person, and then are disappointed later on when the person fails to live up to them.

You don't really recognize it happening because it happens in the flurry and excitement of meeting a lover, starting a job or making a friend... the thoughts kind of all just get jumbled up together, and you assign your projected hopes as made promises, or the person's personality.

To put it more simply, because you're thinking the dreams at the same time that you are excited about the person, you jumble all the thoughts together.

Then, later on, the things you thought were promises, turn out to be what you had dreamed or hoped about this person.

In this series of tools, we're going to unpack exactly these kinds of thoughts, and help reroute your mind to new possibilities and places where these dreams can still play out.

The problem isn't that these dreams will never be realized; the problem is that you have trained your mind to think about this person when you think about these dreams.

We're going to give your mind other identities to replace this person, and other dreams that it can call on, instead of the ones that are making you sad or angry to think about.

Instructions for the What Are You Sacrificing Tool Fields

Follow the instructions in the example fields below to learn how to use the What Are You Sacrificing Tool fields.

Notice how the content scrolls? The next two tabs will do that so that you can remain focused on the questions while selecting which fields to delete.

Remember that there are no right or wrong answers - just the information that you need to process.

There's no exam or score at the end of this. Just answer impulsively, because you really can't get this wrong.

🗑 This is an example field. Click on the trashcan at the right of this block & watch me disappear.
🗑 This is another example field. Click on this wording & test the typing feature.
Any typing edits you make will be saved for you. This way, you are free to edit any of the statements to perfectly suit your individual situation.
🗑 Using conjunction words, like and, when & because, will you let you expand any statement, e.g. I am truly sorry I let you down and... or, I disappointed you because... or I let you down when...

  What Are You Sacrificing?

In this section we're going to break down what it is you'll be sacrificing, and why you are reluctant to let these go.

It's enough to bring information like this to consciousness, as we're doing here.

The process of breaking it down into bite-sized pieces of information is all your mind needs to be able to process & release this.

What are You Giving Up? What has Changed? What is the Problem?

Below you'll find a list of areas that may have changed as a result of this person or situation.

As you move through the list, delete those which do NOT apply to you. What you're left with will be a list of what does apply - however small the influence may be.

No list is ever complete, and so you can click and type in any of the fields to add your own specific items or examples.

Once you're done, all you have to do is read over the list, bringing that knowledge to consciousness. This will initiate the process of shifting this out of your system.

🗑 I thought we'd be in each other's lives forever.
🗑 My day-to-day life has changed for the worse.
🗑 My life is no longer as comfortable as it used to be.
🗑 My financial situation has changed.
🗑 I am worried about survival issues.
🗑 I no longer have security in my life.
🗑 I no longer have stability in my life.
🗑 Where once I was certain, now I'm living with uncertainty.
🗑 I used to know what the future held, and now I'm just unsure.
🗑 The future is unknown.
🗑 This changed everything I thought I knew about this person.
🗑 This made me doubt my ability to judge people as trustworthy.
🗑 This changes what I thought I knew about everything.
🗑 I feel stupid.
🗑 I feel like an idiot.
🗑 I feel like I no longer trust other people.
🗑 I find myself suspicious of others.
🗑 I no longer trust myself.
🗑 I doubt my abilities.
🗑 I doubt my worth.
🗑 I doubt if I bring value to anyone or any environment.
🗑 I feel unwanted.
🗑 I feel rejected.
🗑 I feel abandoned.
🗑 I feel like I don't matter.
🗑 I feel like my needs don't matter.
🗑 Nothing ever works out for me.
🗑 Nothing ever works out the way I want it to.
🗑 I always get the short end of the stick.
🗑 I'm being punished.
🗑 My whole life has been a disaster.
🗑 I have very bad karma, or I must have been a very bad person in a former life.
🗑 I don't have anyone to turn to.
🗑 No one is in my corner.
🗑 No one ever has my back.
🗑 I'm always in it alone.
🗑 I feel lonely.
🗑 I feel alienated.
🗑 I feel isolated.
🗑 I feel judged.
🗑 I feel threatened.
🗑 My survival has been threatened.
🗑 Nobody cares what happens to me.
🗑 Everything I was working towards is gone.
🗑 Everything I've built has been taken from me.
🗑 I'm right back where I started.
🗑 I could never do all the work it took to get here, again.

Why Don't You Want to Give This Up? Why Don't You Want This to Change?

Now that we've identified what it is you're giving up as you let go of this situation, person, and/or relationship, we're going to help you unpack the reasons why you don't want to let these elements go.

Don't want to start again, never had this, etc

You can move through this list one item at a time for what you're sacrificing, or you can do it in one go, as a group: to save yourself time. It's enough that you've listed the items above and acknowledged them.

As you move through the list, delete those which do NOT apply to you. What you're left with will be a list of what does apply - however small the influence may be.

No list is ever complete, and so you can click and type in any of the fields to add your own specific items or examples.

Once you're done, all you have to do is read over the list, bringing that knowledge to consciousness. This will initiate the process of shifting this out of your system.

🗑 I've never had this before.
🗑 I never thought this would happen for me.
🗑 I'm afraid this is the only chance I'll ever have to have this.
🗑 The fact that this happened for me is fluke.
🗑 I got lucky. That won't happen again.
🗑 This is the only good thing that's ever happened to me.
🗑 I invested so much in this.
🗑 I don't want to lose what I've built.
🗑 I don't want to start again.
🗑 I'm embarrassed to be back at square one again.
🗑 I thought I was done with all of this.
🗑 I feel like a failure.
🗑 I'm embarrassed about what other people think of me.
🗑 I will be judged for this.
🗑 I'm disappointing someone else.
🗑 I've disappointed myself.
🗑 I didn't listen to the warnings.
🗑 I didn't trust my gut.
🗑 Accepting this means I have to blame myself.
🗑 There's nobody to blame but myself.
🗑 I feel embarrassed, ashamed and/or humiliated.
🗑 This validates all my fears about myself.
🗑 If I don't have/get this, I'll never have anything.
🗑 If I don't get it this time, it won't come around again.
🗑 I thought all my dreams had come true.
🗑 I can't see anyway for this to work out for the good.
🗑 Nothing good ever happened to me before this person came along.
🗑 I don't want to be alone again.
🗑 Fighting is a way of keeping the relationship alive - and hoep for these dreams alive.
🗑 If I just hang on long enough, this will sort itself out.
🗑 If I let go too soon, then I'll lose my dreams because I gave up.
🗑 Some things are worth holding on to.
🗑 I'm too old to start again.
🗑 Other

💃  Turn it Around

In this section, we're going to replace what you've lost with some new posibilities going forward.

Spend time on this, and add as many things as you want to. And play music you enjoy while you are working on this.

The more time you spend on doing this next section, the more available choices your mind will have to pull on when your inner voice starts doing its thing.

This is how you break the loop of thinking the same things about all of this over & over & over again.

What is the Most Bizarre Turnaround You Can Imagine?

In this tool you'll find a random question deisgned to help you consider a truly bizarre turnaround to all of this... like you become a world-famous recording artist!

Simply look at the question below and let your mind daydream the possibilities.

Use the GENERATE NEW button to generate an alternative option for your bizarre turnaround.

Your Realistic New Possibility

So now that we've had some fun playing around with a few bizarre turnarounds, let's get a little more practical... but not too practical!

Below you'll find a random generator for practical new possibilities, as well as a list below that.

You can have more than one new possibility come out of this, and that's what the list is about.

So how much good do you want to see come out of this situation?

🌟  Generate a Realistic New Possibility at Random

🌟  Choose from a List of Realistic New Possibilities

Because... you can have more than one!

How many of these do you want in your life? Delete the ones that do NOT apply.

🗑 Being fit and healthy
🗑 Having a good body
🗑 Being able to enjoy physical activity
🗑 Having a great sex life
🗑 Being admired for your contribution
🗑 Being sought after as a consultant
🗑 Having an insanely sexy partner that you are deeply in love with, who is also deeply in love with you
🗑 Having the perfect family
🗑 Coming home to your family every night
🗑 Receiving awards and accolades
🗑 Owning your own business
🗑 Holding a Doctorate Degree
🗑 Speaking multiple languages
🗑 Playing musical instruments
🗑 Having stable annuity income coming in every month
🗑 Having a stable, growing investment portfolio
🗑 Never having to worry about money again
🗑 Having more money than you can spend
🗑 Owning multiple properties
🗑 Owning multiple vehicles
🗑 Owning multiple recreational vehicles
🗑 Having fantastic, reliable and trustworthy staff
🗑 Having wonderful, reliable and trustworthy people around you to look after money and investments
🗑 Having a chef
🗑 Having childcare
🗑 Having a chauffeur
🗑 Having your beauty routine taken care of regularly
🗑 Being able to travel regularly, wherever you want to go
🗑 Having the perfect wedding and honeymoon
🗑 Having the perfect family holiday
🗑 Being able to do amazing things for others
🗑 Meeting extraordinary people
🗑 Having life-changing experiences

  Get Help

Once you start working with healing tools, it can get addictive quickly - especially as you begin to see results, and changes in the way you think and feel.

So, you might suddenly realize you want to go even further, and probably faster, or you've hit a major stumbling block that you need help clearing, or you are in shifting overload and experiencing physical, emotional and mental symptoms you need help with. That's what this section is for!

Simply pop us a message - or reach out via one of the message services listed below - and we'll have a coach or healer get back to you to assist you. This is a paid for service.