This powerful visualization exercise will help you to step into the other party's shoes, connect to them, and soften the way you feel about them.
The staged process begins with a visualization exercise. Don't worry about getting this perfectly right - just set your intention to connect to the person, and jump into the questions if you are battling with the first part.
Once you've done the visualization exercise, and/or set an intention to connect to the other person, the second step will have you answer a series of questions that will help you connect back to why you cared for this person in the first place.
Once you're feeling warmer & more compassionate towards this person, we're going to take an opportunity to examine both sides of the story, and put it into perspective a little bit.
Step Into Their Shoes Visualization
Now you are going to identify more closely with the other party by stepping into their skin and seeing both the situation and your relationship to them, from their point of view.
Begin by doing a basic relaxation exercise.
Close your eyes and see yourself sitting at at a desk. It can be your desk, one you currently know, or even the desk of your dreams - it doesnʼt matter. You know whatʼs right for you.
While youʼre sitting at your desk, become aware that you are busy writing your autobiography on the screen. It must be so cool to be so important that your life story is in demand.
Spend a moment or two reading what you have written in your life story so far, as you slowly become aware of (your personʼs name), standing in the doorway watching you, completely unaware that youʼve notcied them.
You realise this is because even though it feels like youʼve turned around, another part of you is still sitting and typing away merrily. So you get and walk over to where the person you're working with is standing and observe them for a moment, as they obseve you typing.
As youʼre standing, become aware that you can step into (your personʼs name)ʼs body, exactly like a zip up suit - just step into their body pull the zip closed in front of your torso and over the top of your head.
Take a moment here to settle into the other personʼs body and become aware that you can feel what they are feeling, you can see yourself sitting at your desk through their eyes, hear the sound of your typing.
And you can hear another sound too... itʼs the sound of this personʼs inner voice, and itʼs saying the loveliest things about you:
... that time that you both...
...how much fun they had with you when...
...how easy it is to be around you because...
...what a caring person you are because...
...that time you helped them with...
...how easy it is to love you because...
...that the best thing about you is...
...that youʼre beautiful because...
...that they wish they had your talents of...
...and of course all the other wonderful things they have to say about you.
Spend a moment or two listening here, enjoying and remembering.
Also become aware now that they are thinking about the event in question...
...that they wish you knew..
...how sorry they are for...
...how much they wish they had done differently...
Once you're finished hearing everything you need to hear, mentally or verbally thank this person for sharing their love and appreciation with you, unzip the suit and step out, walking back to your desk quite quickly.
As you step up closer to the desk, feel yourself seamlessly merge with the self you left typing and become aware that you are now typing all the wonderful things youʼve just learned about yourself.
Take a moment to get all the information down - take a few moments if you need to.
When youʼre ready, answer the questions below.
Step Into Their Shoes Questions
While you're still feeling softer and emotionally warmer towards this person, answer the questions below.
If you are having someone guide you through the process, then they can also ask you the next set of questions while you are still in the visualization process, after you have stepped out of the person's skin and are still looking at them.
What did you learn about what this person thinks of you?
What did you hear, see and or feel that made you feel good?
Can you recall a time this person made you smile or laugh?
Why did you feel protective over them?
When did you feel compassion for them?
Can you remember when you had fun with them?
When did you enjoy their company?
Did you think they were easy to be around?
Did you consider them caring?
Were they ever there to guide or help you?
Did you ever think they were easy to love?
Can you remember why you admired them?
Do you recall defending them to someone else?
Can you remember believing they had your back?
Did you ever believe they had your best interests a heart?
Were you ever excited to see them?
Can remember a time when you enjoyed their company?
Can you recall ever feeling safe around this person?
Can you recall being grateful for this person?
Your Story vs. Their Story
Now that we've connected to the person you'd like to find forgiveness for, we're going to take a look at how the two sides of the story compare, and hopefully yield some insights as to why you're experiencing a forgiveness block.
Once you start working with healing tools, it can get addictive quickly - especially as you begin to see results, and changes in the way you think and feel.
So, you might suddenly realize you want to go even further, and probably faster, or you've hit a major stumbling block that you need help clearing, or you are in shifting overload and experiencing physical, emotional and mental symptoms you need help with. That's what this section is for!
Simply pop us a message - or reach out via one of the message services listed below - and we'll have a coach or healer get back to you to assist you. This is a paid for service.