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Life Coaches Toolbox by Chemory Gunko

Equal To Someone Else

💠 DIGITAL TOOLS & GUIDED COACHING PROCESS 💠

Use the tools on this page when you are battling to achieve a forgiveness release.

When you are equal to someone, you see both their good and bad characteristics - so a more balanced view.

It's hard to forgive someone you love totally, because you're scared you'll lose them.

It's hard to forgive someone you hate, because they don't deserve it.

But when you're equal to someone, you see a balanced view that allows for all sorts of possibility.

  Equal To Someone Else

When you are battling to find forgiveness for someone, or for yourself, it's usually because you do not feel equal to them.

On some level, you feel inferior or superior to this person or theme, and bitterness or judgement are getting in the way of your ability to let this go.

Below you'll find two sections of tools. The first section is a range of digital tools that take you through a four-step process that unpacks the theme of hierarchy: superiority & inferiority.

To use the digital tools, just move through each section below, upload your pictures, and then follow the instructions in the little cards that are with the tool.

The first three steps will help you understand the concept of hierarchy, superiority & inferiority, while the last is a process that you can use to equal to the other person.

The second section you'll find is a real-life, good old-fashioned coaching exercise that will help you move through the process of equalling to someone.

You can use this tool on your own, or with someone else - or even have your friend facilitate it for you.

Even if it is your first time doing anything like this, don't worry: you can't get it wrong.

You really cannot break energy - all you can ever do is move or change it. And what you shift will always be what you most need to release at that time.

The tools on this page use a feature that isn't fantastic on mobile devices.

In cases where you can't these tools to work properly, we've left them visible as a visual aid.

To use this tool and play with it properly, you'd best use a lap- or desktop to view this page.


Only One Person Can Be the Priority

With this tool, we're going to illustrate an uncomfortable truth about hierarchy: that only one person can be superior at a time.

So if one person takes priority, then the others will automatically fall into second place.

To begin this tool, upload a picture of yourself, and a picture of the person you're working with.

Both pictures will load into the little widget below, and you will be able to sort those pictures - swapping them around.

Click through the questions & content next to the widget, and follow the instructions you find.

The instructions will be underneath on mobile devices.

This tool is probably not going to be awesome on a mobile device.

I won't bore you with the technical details, but you'll want to head over to a desktop, or laptop, in order to use this tool.

If you're limited to working a mobile device, then upload the pictures anyway and use them tool as a visual aid. The upload function should still work perfectly.

In order to operate the sliding and dragging functions, some mobile devices will let you tap to move the item.




Once you've loaded your photos, click on them and drag them around.

Do you notice how only one of you can be in the position of superiority at a time?

Making one superior makes the other inferior.



Drag the Other Party's picture into the top, or priority position.

How does it feel for you to see yourself in the inferior position?

Do you enjoy feeling less important than this person - or anyone else?



When you feel that someone is superior to you, how do you view & label them?

Do you find yourself using labels like arrogant with confident or talented people?

Do you feel that superior people deserve good things?



Drag your own picture into the top, or priority position.

How does it feel to see the Other Party in the position of inferiority?

Does it make you feel better about yourself to label the Other Party as inferior?



Do you enjoy looking down on this person?

Do you enjoy being superior to this person?

Do you feel it adds value to who you are to know that someone is less important than you?



Are you judging this person, or other people in your life?

When you judge someone, are you inclined towards forgiving them?

When you look down on someone, do you believe that they deserve good things?



What do you judge about the Other Party, or people in general?

Are you guilty of believing that you are superior to other people?

Do you withhold forgiveness because you feel superior?



Do you feel judged, or looked down upon, by the Other Party, or someone else?

When you think about that state of feeling judged, do you feel inclined to forgive that person?

Can you forgive when you feel inferior?



Notice how, no matter how many times you swap the pictures around, you cannot make them equal.

So as long as you think of one person as superior, or inferior, you will never have equality.

Why don't you want equality?



Why do you want equality?

What do you think equality is?

What do you think equality looks like in real life?

Where do you have equality currently?



Alternately swap the two pictures between the two positions.

Notice how making one of the people a priority, makes the other person unimportant.

Where have you seen others take second place to someone who is prioritized?



Even if you were working with a group of people, making one person a priority will subjugate the needs of everyone else.

The problem lies in prioritizing one person.

The act of making one person a priority impacts everyone else.



Where have you been jealous in the past because you had to take second place to a favoured person?

Where have you been sidelined, or lost out on something, in the past, because someone else was favoured?

How did it feel?



Was it fair that you were sidelined simply because another was preferred?

So why do you make others a priority in your life?

Who are you hurting by putting yourself - or others - into a position of preference?



Are you willing to put your needs aside in favour of another?

How much are you willing to put aside?

Are you willing to deny yourself the relief of forgiveness just because the other person doesn't deserve it?



Are you willing to deny yourself relief just because you're jealous or angry at this person?

Are you willing to deny yourself relief just because you believe that your inferior forgiveness has no worth to the other party?



Look at the picture blocks & spend a minute reading the words next to each position.

Can you see how all the words are just different ways that we label hierarchy, or superiority or inferiority, in ourselves or others?



Language is powerful tool, and when we assign a label to people, we assign the characteristics suggested by that label. So whether we say someone is unworthy, unimportant or irrelevant, all those words mean the same thing: this person is inferior, or less-important-than me.


Hierarchy: Superiority Creates Inferiority

Using this tool, we'll spend some time illustrating how assigning superiority to someone automatically creates inferiority in another.

To use this tool, upload a picture of yourself and the antagonist we're working with, as well as two peripheral parties. By peripheral we mean NOT primary to the situation.

So for example, if you're working with your partner, then you may upload pics of the kids, mutual friends, or close family members.

Once you've uploaded all your pics, follow the prompts in the slider.

This tool is probably not going to be awesome on a mobile device.

I won't bore you with the technical details, but you'll want to head over to a desktop, or laptop, in order to use this tool.

If you're limited to working a mobile device, then upload the pictures anyway and use them tool as a visual aid. The upload function should still work perfectly.

In order to operate the sliding and dragging functions, some mobile devices will let you tap to move the item.




Upload four pictures, one each of yourself and the main antagonist you're working with, as well as two peripheral parties.

Peripheral in this case does not mean that the people are not important, it means that they are not one of the two primary characters in this story.

Drag the slider back and forth, and notice that, regardless of who you put in which position, it has the opposite effect on the other party.

Think of an area of life, or a characteristic, where the other party is clearly superior to you.
Drag the slider to indicate their superiority.

The area they're superior in may be something they're good at, a talent they have, or any measure that comes to your mind really.

Notice how assigning superiority to them automatically assigns inferiority to you - and any peripheral parties.

It is nice to see yourself, and the rest of the group, as inferior to the other party?
What kinds of feelings does this generate in you?

Can you see how - even when you don't mean to - you put others' needs aside when you put someone into a position of priority?

Can you see how you, and everyone around you, take second place just because you favour or prioritize the one person?

Do you think it's fair that you, and others, can be judged as inferior just because someone else is superior in one area?

Can you recall a time or experience where your needs were subjugated in favour of another person?

How did it make you feel to be put aside?

Would you want to do that to someone else?

Now think of a reason why you, or the group, are superior to the other party.
Drag the slider to indicate that superiority.

Can you see how prioritizing the group has the same effect of subjugating the other party?

Can you see how this person may feel sidelined, even if the decision is in the best interests of the majority?

Can you see that the decisions you make about one person always ripple out to affect the other people in your life - even when that's not your intention?

Use the questions in the next slider to measure the inferiority and superiority of both parties in a number of different areas. When you're done, go on with this slider.

Do you notice how, even if one person is superior in many areas, they can suddenly become inferior because of one aspect or characteristic?

Can you see how superiority can never be guaranteed, because it depends on the criteria the individual is judging you on?

Can you now extrapolate that any judgement of hierarchy, or superiority or inferiority, is totally subjective, and based entirely on the person's perspective?

Now drag the sliders into the middle, so that all the parties are equal.
Notice, that in order to be truly equal, neither party can be inferior or superior.

How does it feel to see yourself as equal to this person?

Why don't you want to be their equal?

Can you see how you use the acts of complaining about this person in order to label them as inferior, in order to elevate yourself as superior?

Can you see that this is often the reason why we complain, gossip and talk about people - in order to establish our superiority?

Do you believe that this person deserves your forgiveness or absolution?

Are you willing to extend your forgiveness to them - even if you believe that they don't deserve it?

As you answer each of the following questions about who is superior, move the slider to illustrate it visually.
Notice how assigning one characteristic can change the perspective completely.

Which of you is the better parent?
Who is the better friend?
Who is more successful?
Who is better with money?

Which of you is luckier?
Who is more favoured?
Who is more likable?
Who is more appreciative?

Were you answering these questions honestly, or were you making yourself superior even when no one else could see?

Did you feel shame or inadequacy about being inferior in any of these areas - even though no one else could see your answers?

When you feel inferior like this, where do the ideas come from that label you as inferior, and/or tell you what superior looks like?

Notice that even though all the questions were about supposedly positive characteristics, they still had the effect of creating hierarchy.

Observe how it is the act of putting someone in the position of superiority that creates your own inferiority.

Where do you put people in your life into positions of superiority?

How does this create inferiority in your life?

Where do you need to stop treating people as inferior or inadequate or unworthy?
Which behaviors & words of yours need to change?

Who do you need to stop putting up onto a pedestal?
How do you make yourself inadequate to keep this person feeling or looking superior?

Where do you need to stop someone from putting you onto a pedestal?
Do you enjoy being on this pedestal?


Hierarchy is the Default in Life

In this tool, we're going to illustrate how, when you make a decision to rectify the imbalance, the default of hierarchy settles back in when you go back to your normal life.

To use this tool, upload a picture of yourself & the other party, and then follow the prompts in the slider.

This tool is probably not going to be awesome on a mobile device.

I won't bore you with the technical details, but you'll want to head over to a desktop, or laptop, in order to use this tool.

If you're limited to working a mobile device, then upload the pictures anyway and use them tool as a visual aid. The upload function should still work perfectly.

In order to operate the sliding and dragging functions, some mobile devices will let you tap to move the item.


We're using this tool to illustrate how, when you focus on creating equality, you can get it right in the moment.

However, once you take your focus (or mouse) off the area where you're working on the issue, all the aspects of real life come rushing back in.

When this happens, you lose focus on the issue, and the natural defaults of life - in this case, hierarchy - jump back into place. Press the button to see this happen.

So you can always make changes manually, but the moment you let go, defaults set back in.

To begin, upload a picture of yourself, and the antagonist in your story, as indicated.

Notice how you can drag the pictures around, placing them both anywhere in that area of page really.

Observe how, when you're working with the pictures, everything is all about rectifying the hierarchy, and the background info you can see supports that.

Once you both parties in what you think are the right hierarchy positions, press the button to go back to normal life, and move your mouse cursor to this text that you're reading now.

Observe how, the moment you've taken your focus (mouse) off the area of focus, all the aspects of real life rush back in, and you are no longer focused on the hierarchy. In fact it's not even there.

Also notice that the positions of the two parties have shifted, and one has been assigned to superior, and the inferior, once again.

If you move your mouse back, you can get the focus back onto rectifying the hierarchy, but the moment you let go, the defaults will kick in. No matter how many times you try.

Once you've uploaded your pics, drag them around until you find a placement where you feel that the parties are roughly represented as being equal.

Notice how, in order for the parties to be equal, BOTH PARTIES have to be superior, or BOTH PARTIES have to be inferior.

How does it make you feel to think of yourself as equal-to this person?

Which emotions are you experiencing?

Are you willing to be equally superior to this person in order to have equality with them?

Are you willing to be equally inferior to this person in order to have equality with them?

Often, when we try to rectify issues of hierarchy in real life, we can achieve correction while we stay focused on it, but once the world takes over, it's back to the default settings.

Notice how when you mouse over the image, or focus on the image, the world goes away and we zero in one the hierarchy issue.

Now notice that when you move your mouse (or focus) away from the picture, all the other aspects of your lfie come rushing in and you can't even see the hierarchy issue anymore.

The same thing happens in real life... when you focus, it's all there. But the minute you stop focusing, real life takes over again.

So how do we make it stick with this exercise? Why won't it just reset to default then?

Until now, we've been using equality as a way to facilitate forgiveness; now however, we're going to use the forgiveness release to anchor the changes we've made to the hierarchy.

So the way to really make these changes stick? Finish the forgiveness tool below and equalize to the person properly - even if you feel resistance & don't want to.

But maybe it would work if you cut the person out of your life? Surely if you can't see them then the problem goes away?

Let's try it. Grab their picture and drag it off to the right or left of the screen, until it disappears.

Now press the button again, and you'll notice the images have jumped back into their hierarchical positions.

Even if you kick somebody out of your life, it does not change the fact that they may be inferior or superior to you.

You can deny hierarchy all you want, but it is a natural order in the world.
As we've seen, the moment you stop focusing on it, it will kick back in again.

Even when you achieve equality, there will still be some discrepancy in the levels of equality, and one person will always be (minutely) more superior.



Equal To Another Person

Now that we've taken time to consider hierarchy, and how it can impact us, and influence the way we feel and what we think about the situation, we're going to do an exercise to help you equal-to the other party.

To begin, answer, or read over the questions below. Then, upload a photo of each of you as indicated.

Take a moment here to center yourself, and really bring your attention into the moment. If you'd like to, you can also ground yourself, open your chakras, call on your Guides or a Higher Power, or pray.

Now click the button to launch the healing statement, and either watch it load, or read it out loud as it loads.

To seal the exercise, click to light the forgiveness flame as indicated.

You can leave this page open on your device for a few days, so that you - "accidentally" - see it a few times over the next few days.

This is a brilliant way of reinforcing that the change is still happening, and will help you to overcome any resistance or blocks you may have to believing that this will work.


Equal-To Coaching Questions

Why don't you want to be equal to this person?

Click & type here to answer.

Why do you want to be equal to this person?

Click & type here to answer.

Are you willing to have things in common with them if it means you can achieve forgiveness?

Click & type here to answer.

Where will you always be like this person?

Click & type here to answer.

Where will you always be different to this person?

Click & type here to answer.

How are you different, but equal to, this person?

Click & type here to answer.

Are you willing to put aside any internal resistance you have to allowing this person to be forgiven?

Click & type here to answer.


Equal-To Healing Tool



CLICK JUST
BELOW ME
TO LIGHT THE
FORGIVENESS
FLAME


🚴  Real Life Coaching Exercise to Equal To Another Person

The resources in this section can be used alone or with somebody else.

You can run through them in your head mentally, act them out completely, talk them out with somebody, or just answer the questions.

All we're doing is giving you options... the sky's the limit in terms of how you want to use them.


Equalling-To with Reality Shifting
Practical Coaching Exercise

Have someone proxy for the person this exercise is centered on, imagine they are there, or use a photograph of them, printed or on your phone or tablet.

1. Stand on a chair and look down on the other person for a while if needs be, and notice when it starts feeling uncomfortable for you.

If you need, you can stay in that position for a few minutes to let the discomfort really settle in.

2. Now reverse positions and have the other party stand on the chair, above you, looking down on you.

If you're working with a photo, hold it so that it's looking down on you, or better yet, have someone else hold it.

Notice when it makes you feel uncomfortable to be judged.

Stay in that position so that you get a feel for how uncomfortable it makes you feel to be judged.

Now have the person stand eye to eye with you, or look eye to eye with the photograph they are holding in front of their face.

State your relationship to the person and tell them you accept them as your equal.

You are my brother/father/sister/mother/lover/child/friend and I love you and accept you as my equal.

Have the person repeat the statement back to you, or imagine them saying it to you.


Equalling-To Coaching Questions

The option to type your answers to these questions out is included IN CASE you want to make notes, or if you're working alone. It's also always beneficial to read your answers in one go - and see the 'big' picture.

However you don't need to save these answers, or these kind of exercises.

Typing your answers out is simply a way for you to stay focused on the exercise, and verbalize your thoughts properly.

Once you've done the exercise properly, the answers will integrate, and you will not need to remember any of the detail - because you'll automatically operate from that level.

How does it make you feel to think of yourself as being better-than, or superior to, this person?

Click & type here to answer.

How does it make you feel to think of yourself as inadequate, or inferior, compared to this person?

Click & type here to answer.

Why do you think you're better than this person?

Click & type here to answer.

Why do you judge this person?

Click & type here to answer.

Why do you believe you're inferior to this person?

Click & type here to answer.

What do you think this person judges you for?

Click & type here to answer.

How do others see you as superior to this person?

Click & type here to answer.

How do others see you as inferior to this person?

Click & type here to answer.

How are you rewarded for being or acting superior to this person?

Click & type here to answer.

What's the payoff you receive for accepting a role of inferiority?

Click & type here to answer.

What needs to happen for you to see yourself as equal to this person?

Click & type here to answer.

What needs to happen in order for you to see this person as your equal?

Click & type here to answer.

How do you treat this person, or others, as if they are better than you?

Click & type here to answer.

How do you treat this person, or others, as if they are inferior to you?

Click & type here to answer.

How does this person treat you, or others, as inferior?

Click & type here to answer.

How does this person treat you as if you are better than them?

Click & type here to answer.

What needs to change in you in order for you to equal-to this person?

Click & type here to answer.

What do you need in order to feel equal-to this person?

Click & type here to answer.

  Get Help

Once you start working with healing tools, it can get addictive quickly - especially as you begin to see results, and changes in the way you think and feel.

So, you might suddenly realize you want to go even further, and probably faster, or you've hit a major stumbling block that you need help clearing, or you are in shifting overload and experiencing physical, emotional and mental symptoms you need help with. That's what this section is for!

Simply pop us a message - or reach out via one of the message services listed below - and we'll have a coach or healer get back to you to assist you. This is a paid for service.